the backstreets of Weston-Super-Mare.
2. You know we've got the finest collection of pre-Raphelite
art in the world but you don't know a) where they are or b) what a
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
Erdington to Northfield at 3:30 on the Friday before a long
weekend, but can't find Coventry on a map.
4. You always have the exact change when you board a bus.
5. You think Maypole, Druid's Heath, California, Bangham Pit
and Gannow sound perfectly normal names for places.
6. You've considered punching someone just for implying that
you have a funny accent.
7. Your door has more than three locks.
8. You go to a football game for the fighting in the stands.
9. You can't see anything strange about your three favourite
being ELO, Black Sabbath and UB40.
10. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
11. You like sterilised milk.
12. You know that Birmingham has more miles of canal than
13. You feel the need to share this information with everybody you meet.
14. You only have strong views on art when the City Council put up a
three-dimensional piece of it in the City Centre.
15. You consider Sutton Park the 'countryside'
16. You think Cannon Hill Park is 'nature'.
17. You could never see anything odd about Crossroads.
18. You pay 1,200 a month for a studio apartment the size of a
walk-in wardrobe in Brindley Place and you think it's a bargain.
19. Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping centres gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia.
20. You've been to Wolverhampton twice and needed Air/Sea rescue to
get home both times.
21. You pay more each month to park your car in the city centre than you do in rent.
22. You listen to Ed Doolan but say you can't stand him.
23. You have dinner at lunchtime and go home to tea.
24. You haven't been to the Rag Market since your mom took you
thereto get a school blazer in 1974 but have to date signed 37
petitions to stop it closing.
25. You haven't heard the sound of true, absolute silence since 1977 and when you did, it terrified you.
26. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
27. You moaned about the cost of the NEC, ICC, NIA, Symphony
28. You think that being refused entry at eighteen bars in three hours constitutes a good night out.
29. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
30. You can't see anything wrong with a bus route that's twenty-two
miles long, takes four hours and finishes where it starts.
31. You think Carl Chinn sounds common.
32. You allow three hours for a two mile motorway journey
33. When anybody asks you to recommend a good Indian you can
provide them with a list of a hundred.
34. You don't hear sirens anymore.
35. Smoking does less damage to your lungs than breathing
36. Your cleaner is Spanish, your grocer is Indian, your off-licence
owner is Jamaican, your landlord is Pakistani, your laundry
man is Chinese, your favourite barman is Irish, your favourite
caf owner is Austrian, the watch seller on your corner is
Bangladeshi, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsagent is
Bangladeshi and your favourite chip shop owner is
37. You think pork scratchings are health food.
38. You call total strangers "bab".
39. You think "getting a buzz" refers to public transport rather than drugs.
40. You get into fights with everybody who says that
Manchester is the Second City.
41. You think that the Rotunda is a smart piece of architecture.
42. You think all arguments can be ended with the words "Shakespeare was a Brummie".
43. You are terrified of offending a Welshman in case he cuts off your water.
44. You think the Lickey Hills is the Lost Continent.
45. The last man you heard taking the piss out of the place isdue to wake up any month now.
Source (slightly edited): http://www.visordown.com/forum/crap-jokes/you-know-youre-a-brummie-when/24472.html