Urban Grimoire: Incantation to be Fabulous

One of the marvellous things about the modern witchcraft movement is that while we definitely do Right and have a very developed sense of duty, this sense doesn't bring with it the need to be miserable and isn't a grinding sense of duty. Your place in the world and tasks for this incarnation shouldn't make you miserable. You'll know you're on the right track if it feels right and leads you to the ecstasy of the Goddess. 

Which of course is not to say it's always rosy, so here is a spell for the times of doubt. These are magical words and are guaranteed to set things back on the right track.

So all together now:

Eurydice Colette Clytemnestra Dido Bathsheba Rabelais Patricia Cocteau Stone!

Spirit of Place: Duddeston Viaduct

This post was inspired by the guy who grabbed hold of me on the canal bank, to the extent that I had to put him on his bus to get rid of him. We had to pass under the viaduct but he didn't realize, bless him, that the whole thing is called a viaduct and thought every arch was called a fire duct. He kept saying 'Thats another fire duct'... Since he didn't know I managed to hold in my hysterics and this is by way of getting them out. I couldn't explain to him because he was clearly explaining this to me and I would have laughed.

Duddeston Viaduct is one of my absolutely favourite things. There are two distinct rail routes through the centre of Birmingham, the result of a lengthy Victorian row between at least two different railway companies. I'm not going to lie, I have tried and failed to get my head round it but it is honestly so confusing, and it doesn't help that of course there are lots of professional and amateur historians of railways. Nonetheless an account of what happened can be found here. 

For my own superficial purposes suffice to say that you will see this in Digbeth from the train to and from Snow Hill station (you won't see it from the New Street train) and it is a fuck off great railway viaduct which has sat there since the 1840s and never carried a train. It's the viaduct with the greenery on the right side of the drone picture which heads this post.

Don't you think it's wild that it's just sat there for 180 years? It's never even reached as far as Duddeston which gives it its name because it ends quite abruptly in Digbeth, the point it had got to when the two rail companies came to an arrangement which obviated the need for it. Apparently it isn't unusual for this to happen because of the sheer speed at which competing concerns got involved in railways. I have read that there are some similar relics in New York, but I don't know whether that means the city or the state.

I keep reading that the viaduct has got planning permission to be turned into a sort of elevated park, which is about as sexy an outcome as you could want.

In fact it's not the only completely unused thing in Birmingham. I have tried repeatedly and failed to find pictures of it (they are alleged to exist) but the original planning for the Centre City building on Smallbrook Queensway dictated that in addition to offices it had to have a theatre. Now if you know the area you will know that it's within a stones throw of three other theatres and then three cinemas so what they were thinking I can't tell you. The result was that nobody would take it on and the theatre was never used from the building opening in 1975 to the council relenting in 1990. It's now used by the Probation Service.

Finally you may ask what kind of tinpot banana republic can have 45 government ministers resign (through self interest, not integrity, I should say) on the same day and not have a general election. And I would have to say, hold on because the new Education Minister gave the crowd the finger (What the Actual Fuck) so this isn't over. Personally I want this to go so badly we never have another Tory government in my lifetime and we get to see Johnson taken out of Downing Street by the army.

Meanwhile KFC in Westminster is the official restaurant of this blog:

Agony Hound: AITA For tossing a blanket over my BILs head when he said he didnt want to see my baby nurse?

Today another Am I the Asshole? question from Reddit  which I've picked mainly because the more women learn to recognize men being dicks the more they'll stand up for themselves. This is a major part of the Womanly Art of Witchcraft.

Sorry if the title is wordy. I have a little baby, I'm running on little sleep lol.

My wife and I had our second baby two months ago (nine weeks) and as with our first I am breastfeeding. The first time round my family were meh about me nursing. I was much more conservative and covered up, until we had a dangerous situation where my daughter overheated and breathed milk in. Very scary, she's fine now, though.

Anyway, this time around I have warded off all types of covers. I am boob free and my daughter has a much easier time nursing. My family formula feed, so this is all new for them.

My brother in law is less happy with my recent confidence. We all got invited out for my dads birthday dinner, and obviously I took my little ones with me. While there my baby got hungry and I fed her, as one does. Afterwards my BIL mentioned how "things like that" make him uncomfortable, and asked if I'd cover up if baby nursed while eating. I told him no, and we ordered.

Food got there and she got hungry again, so I popped a lady out to feed her, yknow. He made another comment about not wanting to see a boob while he was eating. I was pretty annoyed and so I apologised with a smile and said something along the lines of, "Sorry, I'll just get this covered for you," and flung the blanket I had on my lap over his head.

I'm still proud of myself for managing it tbh. Even if it was an asshole move, it was a damn good throw.

A few people outside our family started laughing, and in his flurry to get it off, dropped it into his meal and had to reorder, so we all ate while he had to wait for his food again.

I made things pretty tense, but no one mentioned it again. Afterwards my dad told me I was immature and he wouldnt be inviting me to a family meal again if that was how I was going to act.

Following that everyone is upset, some even going as far as to call me a bad mother because I was petty. I personally am not super sure I was in the wrong, as my wife nor anyone we've told thinks so, but they all tend to be quite nice to me post baby due to hormones. I also cant tell if its my hormones making me feel like a shitty person.

Obviously I feel bad about making him wait for his food, but that wasnt directly my fault? He was pretty humiliated with people laughing at him as well, but I do kind of feel it was deserved.

AITA?

Short answer, No.

Longer answer: There are a few things very suggestive of what is going on here. First we're talking about a woman feeding her baby, a normal bodily function which is all yours to regulate. You also mention recent confidence, the power dynamic here is actually to undermine your recent confidence. Like so many things, this isn't about the apparent subject, breastfeeding, when you look under the surface.

Obviously it's entirely up to you how you manage this from here on. It's also obvious that there are going to be difficulties within the family. My advice would be to tackle family members individually and try to get them on board. If it becomes apparent that they've decided to turn on you for this then I'm afraid you would have to decide where to take it. You may feel that you don't want to upset them and that's fine. 

Personally I'm afraid I've reached an age where I realize I should have used the words 'fuck off' much more frequently when I was younger, so I would be inclined to tell them that they get you with boob or not at all. 

If a number of family members take your side I would suggest that this may be an appropriate way for them to dress to smooth family relations:

... with the aim of really helping family relations along, and I do mean a Trump-family-on-trial level of tenseness.

In fact I'm so convinced that your brother in law is an asshole that I would be quite happy to come to your family gathering and helping things along by showing him my own magnificent set of boobs. I'm a man, by the way but am always up to show solidarity or awkward up any situation.

A Real Witch Talks Herbal or Home Abortion

Surely we all hoped this was a subject which had passed into history but it's come up on the internet after the Supreme Court's decision in the US. So here is the truth from a real witch about all abortifacient products or any home abortions:

The only person who should carry out an abortion under any circumstances is a doctor and it is dangerous, and may be fatal, to do it at home.

If you come away with nothing else from this, please let it be that. It is possible to give yourself an abortion but please don't try because you might end up dead.

So if you suspect you're pregnant here's what to do.

1. Don't panic - if you panic that's when you'll make bad choices. And so we come to the choices.

2. You can do nothing, and carry the baby to term if you are pregnant. I'm a witch so I'm pro choice: people who are for abortion don't want to force them on people. 

3. If you don't want a baby my advice would be to get medical help as soon as possible, ideally within 24 hours of sex. In the UK https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/where-can-i-get-emergency-contraception/ will tell you where to get emergency contraception. In the US this is how to get it (See below for avoiding a digital record of this).

4. Otherwise, in the UK you can have a medical abortion usually up to 24 weeks of pregnancy and in very limited circumstances after that. You can find out more at https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/abortion/. In the US I have heard good things about I Need an Abortion and Online Abortion Resources.

(Incidentally if you have been using a period tracking app in the US just delete it and all its data anyway because you may be breaking your state law if you terminate a pregnancy and you don't want to give the pigs evidence.)

5. Human life doesn't always work the way we want it to but I'm a witch so I try to live in an intentional way. Some people get very ashamed at the idea of planning to have sex but if it saves you from this trouble it's as well to get on contraception anyway. In the UK Your Contraception Guide will tell you all you need to know and in the US the relevant CDC guide is here.

The next bit might be a bit witchy or just plain difficult to stomach so feel free to exit here and the blessing of the Goddess go with you.

6. If you are unfortunate enough to live in a state where the conservatives carry out the next stage of their campaign and ban contraception, you're basically back in the past. I'm afraid I have to say that none of the things women used to do to try to avoid pregnancy is reliable. I am however reminded that years ago I had a red hot book from the second wave of feminism called A Lesbian Herbal. Obviously it had a particular agenda but it's words 'the only guaranteed way not to get pregnant is lesbian sex'* seared themselves across my mind. I don't think the conservative Christians and Catholics have put much thought into the reality that if they ban contraception it won't stop people having sex and we all know you don't get pregnant by oral and anal sex. Here is a sensible guide about getting ready for anal if you want to try. If you do, and you live in a red state please write your representative to tell them what their policies have driven you to.

Updated 8/7/22 with further information (Source) on avoiding criminalization in the US:

Leave no online footprint of searches or purchases. Digital Defense Fund’s abortion privacy guide is your go-to resource for this. Using private browsers, two-factor authentication, encrypted messaging, strong passwords, etc. is critical. Google searches have been presented as evidence in an SMA trial before. Do not leave a digital trail.

Use the medications properly to prevent interactions with healthcare providers. The pills are very effective, but they have to be used right. Carefully follow the instructions provided on the How to Use Abortion Pill website. Note that misoprostol tablets should always be taken by dissolving them under the tongue. Do NOT insert misoprostol vaginally if you are self-managing an abortion. While this is medically safe, it can leave incriminating pill remnants that can be detected in the vagina during a pelvic exam if you end up needing to seek medical care. 

If it’s not an emergency but you need expert health advice, use a free calling service like Google Voice to call or text the Miscarriage + Abortion Hotline at 1-833-246-2632. Medical complications are very uncommon with abortion pills, but they’re not impossible. The M+A Hotline is safe to use and is staffed by trustworthy clinicians who volunteer their time to help those who choose SMA. Do not use your own phone number to call as this will create a record that is visible to your cell service provider. 

Don’t disclose any information about SMA to emergency room staff if you do need to seek medical care. This is how most people who are arrested for SMA are reported. Healthcare providers are almost always who calls the police in cases of SMA criminalization. Contrary to popular belief, HIPAA does not protect your private health information from being shared with police if you are suspected of doing something that could be considered a crime. If you believe you need to seek urgent medical care, do not hesitate to go. Say “I think I’m having a miscarriage” and provide your symptoms. Do not mention any use of or purchase of abortion pills. There is no widely available test to detect misoprostol in your bloodstream. If you do not disclose it, there is no way for a medical provider to tell the difference between a medication abortion and a spontaneous miscarriage.

Do not talk to the cops. Period. Do. Not. Talk. To. The. Cops. If you are questioned by police you should state, “I am exercising my right to remain silent, and I wish to speak with an attorney.” Do not speak again or nod in response to a question. Contact the Repro Legal Helpline as soon as possible for expert legal advice: 1-844-868-2812. Do not agree to questioning or speak to any law enforcement official without a lawyer present.

Finally before you leave this page please join in with this invocation of Hecate, ancient Greek Goddess of witchcraft, to end patriarchy:

Three faced Hekate, come to me beloved mistress. Graciously hear my sacred spells: image of night, youthful one, dawn-born lightbringer to mortals, who rides upon fierce eyed bulls. O Queen, you who drive your chariot on equal course with Helios, you dance with the triple forms of the triple Graces as you revel with the stars. You are Justice and the Thread of the Fates, Clotho Lachesis Atropos, O Three Headed one, you are Persephone Megaira and Allecto. O one of many shapes who arm your hands with terrible dark-glowing lamps, who shakes locks of fearsome serpents at your brow, whose mouths send forth the roar of bulls, whose womb is thick with reptile-scales, at whose shoulders are rows of venomous serpents, wound across your back beneath murderous chains. O night bellower, lover of servitude, bull faced and bull headed one, you have the eyes of bulls and the voice of dogs. Your forms are hidden in the legs of lions. Your ankle is wolf-shaped, and savage dogs are friendly to you, wherefore they call You Hekate, many named, Mene, cleaving the air like arrow-shooting Artemis. O Goddess of four faces, four names, four ways, Artemis, Persephone, deer shooter, night shiner, thrice resounding, triple voiced, three headed, thrice named selene, O trident bearing one of three faces, three necks, three ways, who holds undying flame in triple baskets. You frequent the three ways and are mistress of the three Decads. Be gracious unto me who is invoking you and hearken favorably. You are night, darkness, and broad chaos, for you are necessity, hard to escape, you are Fate, you are Erinyes and the torture, you are murderess and justice, you hold Cerberus in chains, you are steely blue with serpent scales, O serpent haired and serpent girdled one, blood drinker, death bringer who breeds corruption, feaster on hearts, flesh eater who devours those who died before their time, grave resounder, driver to the wanderings of madness, come to my sacrifices and fulfill this task for me!

I will pin this post at the top of the blog so it is prominent if anyone comes looking for a witchy abortion. Oh by the way - apart from the advice not to try a DIY abortion, which obviously is health advice, I'm not giving you health advice here and you really should make decisions with a health care provider not me because they'll help with your specific situation. x