The Witch Mediates Fate

'If Miss Treason gave judgement against you, it was really not a good idea (everyone said) to ask for your present back, as being turned into something small and sticky often offends.' Terry Pratchett

I posted in June about how Birmingham City Council had the temerity to have a run in with me after not paying their staff right for years and how I just knew something big was coming. Obviously I'm not responsible for the complete financial collapse which followed (they are) but the point was witches tend to get placed in turning points in life and history and oversee people either fucking themselves up or sorting things out.

Then in July I reflected on how Boris Johnson was flailing around like someone cursed by me. Of course he was - I cursed him last year. 

Of course there was only one way my magical signature was going to play out with Birmingham Shitty Council, and I noted that the council were claiming that they would not be putting in a Section 114 notice. This is the declaration required by law to say that a council cannot meet its spending obligations (full details here). I, of course, said that they would be making this declaration.

Bab, I'm not even going to bother telling you what happened next. You already know.

There is a very powerful magic spell which in Muggle terms is called an audit. What happened next was they got audited and I think we can truthfully say that while we all expected it to be bad, even I wasn't prepared for the full extent of utter incompetence that was revealed. And I mean even to the extent that their electronic accounts were so insecure that just anyone could literally alter them. Utter shambles.

This is exactly the sort of turning point my magic revolves around although I've been little more than an interested observer in this one.

I can also tell them what's coming next, and since the council are still claiming that central government will not need to get involved, obviously that's what will happen. This isn't even really a prediction, apparently it nearly always happens when a council collapses.

Fools, utter fools.

Urban Grimoire: The Benefits of Blocking

I have written here before about the similarities of many acts we perform in social media with some of the classical magical acts. This post is inspired by my complete conversion to the satisfying act of blocking other accounts on social media.

You'll note of course that I say 'accounts' rather than 'people', and the sad fact is that many of the most annoying accounts on social media aren't people at all, they're computers pretending to be people and this is only going to get worse as Artificial Intelligence improves.

That said, judging by the conversational ability of some people I would rather communicate with AI but that's a whole different subject.

In fact sometimes I wonder whether troll accounts' relentless parroting of stupid things means the person behind them even is technically a person. You have to wonder whether the lack of empathy or conscience of these people actually means they're lacking some essential human characteristics.

Be that as it may, you don't want to deal with them and my message of hope for the world is that you don't have to.

Block them.

Go on, don't even say anything to them, just block them.

Now, if you're thinking that they're saying stupid dangerous things on the internet and someone has to challenge their nonsense because other people might be affected by it, you're just proving that you do have a conscience and empathy for other people, which it is important to remember that internet trolls don't. In fact I used to think that they should be combatted but have abandoned that idea. I think the reality in 2023 is that the world has divided between the nice people who live in reality and the idiots who don't. Yes, I know I'm being horrible, but we live in a shitty world populated by cunts and I'm not going to waste my remaining years arguing with them.

So I have changed position on this and honestly it's glorious.

I've gone from regretfully blocking the most annoying accounts occasionally to full scale block fests. While I was still on Twitter I once blocked 367 accounts in one sitting. I've even started leaving a passive aggressive ending on comments that I'll just block you if you reply stupidly. I block people because I don't like their profile picture. I block them because their dog is over groomed. I block them because I don't like their house. The slightest mention of bitcoin and you're blocked. I even block people because I've taken one of my famous dislikes to them; all these as well as the more obvious reasons that their politics, racial views and anything else about them are loathsome.

The magical act which I think this is most like is either binding (although specific to me, not stopping them harming generally, which would be more like reporting them) or one of those spells where you just fade into the background so the target doesn't notice you. It actually does have a magical power because it's not allowing the account to have access to you. I just don't think it's true when people say people only have the power over you that you allow them, because, hello, what about rape. But in social media terms it is actually possible to stop someone having access to you at the press of a button.

I've actually started setting out to block people: yes I know I'm a misanthropist but I have found that blocking a lot of people has the effect of quietening down the conversation on a lot of posts. The best way to do this is to find one of sort of posts which are like a magnet to gammons and MAGATs: usually ones of youngsters misbehaving, of poverty in the US, of people suffering some terrible misfortune, or pictures of groups such as Jews or People of Colour. I honestly don't know what sort of a cunt you have to be to make abusive comments on a video of a mentally ill person, drug addict or asylum seeker, but I know that I don't want them around me and just block them all.

The reader will of course also recognise that a power analysis of this means I'm not giving them power. It took me a long time to get this but not engaging does actually not give them what they want, and might actually make them piss off if they're a real person. And this is absolutely doing the Great Work.

I only have one exception to this which is that I make a point of insulting brexiteers, adding that I'll give them time to read it before blocking them and then block them when they get enraged. Because pointing out their error to Leave voters is a national pleasure and sport just like cricket and cheese rolling, and I have to do that and then block them.

When I started thinking about this post I was thinking that I should probably include a potential downside of blocking loads of accounts, and was thinking that I would probably identify that it would be losing an opportunity to influence the audience to an interaction. However on further reflection I think that in 2023 social media users have no excuse not to have an understanding of how disinformation is used online and will not be easily deflected from vile opinions. If at this stage you're easily influenced by anti-vaxxers, Brexiteers, Donald Trump, the Cuntservative Party and other liars, you are never going to learn except the hard way. I don't have to inflict you on me.

And treating yourself well is the ultimate act of rebellion in our society.

Let's end with Mark calling in to LBC and demonstrating why this country will never have another bloody revolution and ably demonstrating the reason laughing at things is a banishing ritual in chaos magic:

Donald Trump Yet Again

So Bojo and Dorries have both resigned as MPs now and I was particularly delighted with the campaign of trolling that highlighted how Dorries hadn't been doing her job for yonks. This is why I don't think we'll have a bloody revolution in this country: they can't be relentlessly humiliated and know they've lost if they're dead. And we do that so well, it's a national characteristic.

Meanwhile that fuckwit Trump is selling t-shirts saying Never Surrender with a picture of him surrendering for the - is it the fourth or the fifth time? - I've lost count. So let's check in with what's going on shall we.

I'm delighted that if I'd had to guess the tarot cards for his current situation these are pretty much what I would have guessed LOL.

First we have the Knight of Wands. The Knights are the getting on with it and defensive/offensive cards, and that energy is here combined with the suit of Wands. Wands are about doing things, exerting your will or influence, going out and grabbing the pussy. This is a tremendously positive card for the querent (normally).

But not if you then come to the nine of Swords, which is the summit of the troubled, quarrelsome Swords suit. Swords are about thoughts, and let's just say that you really don't want this card appearing in your reading. You will of course see that in the RWS deck there's a suggestion that all nine of your troubles are all lined up in front of you but you can't even bring yourself to look at them. This card is the summit of earthly trouble.

This means so far we have a court card indicating going out and actioning your will, combined with another card where you've got so many troubles you can't even look. When you get those combined you're ideally placed to make even more mistakes (or commit more crimes) because you're rushing about, flailing with your wand, but there is so much going on that you're not examining it properly or thinking about it.

Finally we have the 4 of Pentacles, and it really does make me happy to see this card here. Fours (like the four legs of a table) indicate solidity and stability (or stubbornness if you take it too far) and combined with the element of Earth indicates stability of worldly goods - property, business, money.

That is, it does if it's not preceded by the last two cards and this means I think Trump is feeling the pain financially. Apparently RICO cases are horrendously expensive to defend and I think the particular trouble he's faced with is the realistic prospect that so many lawsuits will actually ruin him. I would hypothesise that he paid his bail with a bondsman on the principle that he doesn't do paying for anything and intends not to pay the bondsman.

Because obviously him also getting pursued by a bounty hunter would be the perfect next drama.

All together these cards indicate he's desperate, flailing around for solutions to the perfect legal storm and actually worried about the money now. 

You can tell, actually, because I'm a native English speaker and can't tell you what the fuck this is about, but I can promise you he couldn't define any of the words he tries to use.