Easter Does my Head In

Goddess, how I find this festival intolerable. It is intolerable on several fronts.
From a pagan point of view a lot of twaddle is spoken about it (much of this twaddle and a sensible rebuttal of all of it can be found here. The reason any talk of pre-Christian paganism in Britain is on a hiding to nothing is that our pagan forebears didn't write stuff down, and even if we have artefacts left, we don't know what they were used for because they are literally pre-historic. Any accounts of what paganism was like were written by Christian missionaries, who are not the most objective people in this situation, and may well also not have understood what ritual was about.
Eostre, for example, has only one historical mention by a bloke called Bede who was a monk. We can believe that the missionaries deliberately attached their religious events to pagan days, but it is well nigh impossible to say what the pagan festivals were about. This is also the reason the witch cult in Western Europe is a fantasy.
In case anyone thinks I'm only going to offend pagans, this is where I start on the Christians. The central event of the Christian year is a real problem for the Christians in my opinion. How in hell do you celebrate a resurrection? It's an event outside of our experience, if taken at face value. If not accepted uncritically it ceases to be special at all, because of the great difficulty historically in determining death. It is not unusual in history for people to appear dead but not be. And I'm not even going into the bloody horror of their tortured Messiah. And people say witches are weirdos!
Apart from anything else the Christian calendar is repetitive and everyone knows what's coming next. I like my gods to be a bit surprising myself. There used to be a joke about a woman who saw Jesus in Southwark cathedral on Good Friday. After much agitating she got an audience with Archbishop Amigo, and told him she had seen Jesus in the cathedral, to which he replied, 'Well he's got no business being in there on Good Friday.'
And don't get me started on Ostara! At least it marks an actual astrological event, but the Hound is firmly of the opinion that the current pagan calendar was cobbled together by old Gerald and that other nudist who was a druid, in the 1940s.
EbEv the chocolate is frequently wrecked by putting milk in it. And stop saying Bournville, the Hound likes white chocolate.
And not even estrogen has the decency to be derived from Eostre. I was hoping it would turn out to have been named after the Goddess as being to do with being randy and getting impregnated when the sap's rising. But no, the hormone has a boring etymology. But this hasn't stopped me illustrating this post with an advert for the pill.
Pass me another egg.