Self-oppression made easy

I realise that this post will seem like I am contradicting myself, but I've become very aware of the tone of many of the posts here. I have commented that being a witch means coming into contact with a lot of shit, specifically that I now have a psychic link to a paedophile. I have also commented that I can see no desirability is forgiving or being forgiven, nor yet in necessarily forgetting the wrongs that have been done one. There are two bottom lines in this one for me: sources of energy always come in useful for the witch & such strong emotions as hatred & anger are useful sources of them. The other bottom line is that in today's culture of apology people get this strange idea that apologising will somehow help the other person move on in their life.
I am going to use two big examples to illustrate what I'm getting at here: the experience of slavery undergone by the people who came to Britain from the west coast of Africa via the Caribbean & the oppression of homosexuals. Slavery is such a stain on human history that I can see no purpose being served by 'forgiving and forgetting', because humans are very good at not learning from their past. Also for individuals it has created such a trauma lasting over generations that it would be unreasonable to act as if that trauma wasn't there at all.
However I am a witch, & I know damn well that if you go around thinking 'I am oppressed' you truly are, & it is you doing the oppressing. A strange dynamic occurs in individuals or communities with a history of being on the receiving end of discrimination or oppression; by dynamic I mean the unspoken script that lays under the surface of our every action. The 'oppressed' either internalises the oppressor or projects the oppressor onto a safe external target. This last is a normal reaction to the kind of trauma that I am talking about here, in an attempt to make it manageable. As a white European, I can have some idea of where my forebears have been & their rough social standing for a number of centuries back. If I was a Black British person of African-Caribbean descent I wouldn't be able to, because an entire social system was deliberately destroyed in Africa, & then the slaves deliberately mixed up to reduce rebellion. That in itself creates a rootlessness, in fact even writing it I feel sick.
Where you go from that point is the difficulty & it tends to be there that people internalise their self-loathing. Neither of these routes actually liberates you & I feel the internalised oppressor is the more dangerous & insidious of the two routes. You see this in black people feeling they have to agree with each other because they're black (in fact, insert any minority you like for the word black). You particularly see it in discriminatees' attempts to fit in with the discriminators. This may well be 'I'll have a bit of what you've got,' but it becomes dangerous when it means the minority continues to see the externalised oppressor as normative.
I disagree with those who campaign for gay marriage on the basis of equality. I don't want to be equal, I've got far better things in mind for myself. I look at married couples & thank the G*ddess that I'm a pansy, because I just plain don't want to be like them. I'm aware that I have a slight advantage because at the end of the day I can always have a handfasting to someone else, while preserving the principle that the State can stay out of my love life. But that still wouldn't be a marriage. So I would say to any gay or lesbian who wants equality in marriage: be very careful. You are making the Judaeo-Christian heterocentric model normative, which is *exactly* what has been the pretext to persecute homosexuals for centuries, & you are perpetuating internalised self-hatred.
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