Next is Jeremy C..., sorry, Hunt

 Of course you all knew that Jeremy Hunt, currently Chancellor of the Exchequer, was looking to be cursed, didn't you.

Jeremy Richard Streynsham Hunt*, you are cursed and nothing you do prospers.

*Another stupid bloody name although not as bad as Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

I commented in a previous post in this series that an important ritual in chaos magic is banishing things by laughing at them and you can help this curse along by watching this video of broadcasters referring to Mr... Hhhhhunt by his correct name.

And if you'd like to be entertained there's this from some years ago by my favourite journalist, Jonathan Pie:

I'm not Cursing my Own MP

... although that's largely because she (Shabhana Mahmood, Labour, Birmingham Ladywood) cursed herself by abstaining in the ceasefire vote as she was whipped, and as reported in the Birmingham Dispatch has rightly drawn significant backlash for this. She even put out a mealy mouthed statement about the rules of war reflecting the statement from Starmer that started the row. I'm therefore not feeling the need to intervene at this point.

It's helped by the fact that this constituency is one of the ones with the biggest Moslem populations in the country. You will see from the handy graphic that the reality does not represent the completely Islamic Birmingham that the gammons fantasize about.

I am delighted to say that there have been protests and plans are being made to take her out at the next election:

Protest: We went along to the protest in Alum Rock to speak with residents. The demo was peaceful with a lot of families and children present. Some very impassioned speeches were made, many of which called on constituents to use their vote to remove Mahmood from her seat. We spoke to a young woman called Maleeha Khan who said:

There are innocent children dying. Everyday we're seeing kids losing their parents, losing every family member that they have and yet our voices are not doing anything. And people that we've voted to represent us are failing to do so. We will no longer vote for these people if they don't represent our views.

Mohammed Jahangir, 55, a researcher in Engineering at the University of Birmingham lives in Harborne — Gill’s constituency — but came to the nearest protest he could find. He referenced the UK position on the Russia-Ukraine conflict and said: “We want the UK Government to send the same message that oppression of this type shouldn't be happening.”

Backlash: Lib Dem councillor for Aston Ayoub Khan, who stood against Mahmood for the Ladywood seat in 2010, was at the protest and made a speech. He told The Dispatch he is “confident there will be a massive turnout against Shabana Mahmood” and that “she will lose her seat”. Source

That kinda sounds a bit prophetic doesn't it? 'She will lose her seat'?

It would be especially prophetic because I would love to see that sizeable Labour majority overturned and get something else (don't worry, the right whingers in this constituency are so few and far between even if you divide the Labour vote FPTP would still be very unlikely to give us a Con member so I'm not bothered about that). She does her casework but she does exactly what she's whipped to do and in common with the rest of the Labour party no longer offers an effective opposition and it's time. A change would be overturning nearly ninety years of history and I looove to expect the impossible!

Images: religious composition table ONS, election tables Wikipedia

And Next is the Wrong in the US

And next to be cursed* is the hard right (actually wrong) in the US.

You are cursed. Your power wanes as this candle burns down and nothing you do prospers. What you want for others returns to you.

ProximaBlue I've done this as a general thing because the video you sent me isn't viewable in the UK. Happy to do specific politicians if you give me names of course.

*Although of course like the rest of humanity they are the real source of any curse.

Urban Grimoire: Candle Magic Made Uncomplicated

If you want to join in my streak of cursing politicians but aren't sure what to do here is candle magic made easy.

It is not an ancient magic because candles only came in to common use in the nineteenth century, but does utilise ancient magical techniques: identifying one thing with another and effecting change, the use of the elements, and so on.

You will need:

A candle of your choice (it helps if it reminds you of the target in some way but the candle's colour and shape really don't matter).

Somewhere safe to burn it. Best to use a candlestick and never leave it unattended.

Optional: 

A knife or pen to write or carve your purpose onto the candle before or after stage 2 below.

What to do:

1. Take your candle in your hands and form your intention in your mind. Tell your candle what it means and what is going to happen. Say it as a statement of fact, out loud if you wish.

Eg 'Donald John Trump is in prison' or 'Joe Bloggs recovers from cancer'.

2. Next you dress the candle. You will read a lot of complex stuff in the books about doing this but IMHO the simplest way to get your purpose into the candle is to dress it with the oil produced by your own skin. Simply rub your fingers on the side of your nose and then rub them onto the candle, knowing that this is identifying the candle with your desire. I like to dress down from the wick for things I want to decline and upwards for things I want to grow.

Keep dressing the candle until it feels right. By this I mean that you will feel the intention leave you. If you're doing the head bit right here, you will either feel relieved, tired, or like you've had enough of it.

3. Burn the candle in a safe place. You can either do it as quickly as you want or a little bit each day. As you do this see your desired outcome in your mind's eye. If you need a picture to look at of course it's fine.

I think it's fine to blow it out at the end of each session.

4. Burn it until it goes out on its own and dispose of any remaining wax in a symbolic way. I simply scrape the bits into the bin but if the spell is for something you want you could keep them as a charm.

5. Try not to think about it. Difficult, obviously. If you know you're going to keep scratching the itch add an intent to start off with that that will strengthen the spell.

Caution about the side effects of magic: magic does not return threefold as some people claim and frankly as adults we need to be responsible for our actions rather than running round paralyzed by fear of retribution like Christians. However there is a great tradition that magic primarily acts on the magician, so if you've cursed a politician, for example, you might suddenly find yourself becoming very politically active for their opposition. In history I think most practitioners of this sort of practical magic have tended to be driven to it by fear and powerlessness so there's an irony in the way it affects you and changes you, including making you feel empowered.

Happy witching!

Yet Another Curse

Although this idiot's cursed himself. Very gratified that his telling Labour MPs to vote against a ceasefire in Gaza seems to have driven a roller through the shadow cabinet and initiated a full scale rebellion. 👏

Keir Rodney Starmer you are cursed. Every death you cause returns to you and nothing you do can prosper.

Shout out to Tahir Ali (Birmingham Hall Green), Liam Byrne (Birmingham Hodge Hill), Khalid Mahmood (Birmingham Perry Barr), and Jess Phillips (Birmingham Yardley) for doing the right thing. The blessing of the witch is on you.

I don't know the others but I just knew we could rely on our very own Jess Phillips: she's like the Beorma spirit distilled into one person.

And the next

...is, of course, Rishi business.

Rishi Sunak, you are cursed. Nothing you do prospers and every death you cause returns to you. Your downfall is happening now.

Magic is a Wild Thing

Sometimes my own magic surprises me with its unexpected effects.

In this case we've gone, in a few days, from the Home Secretary (may her name be forgotten and she face a lengthy prison sentence) making out that peaceful demonstrations at the Cenotaph on Armistice Day were hate marches...

To the usually hopeless constabulary managing correctly to arrest the far-right counter-protestors that turned up and not the protestors calling for a ceasefire, the media (EVEN the Daily Fail) accurately recording what actually happened and EVERYONE, even high ups in the police and army, correctly placing the blame for what happened at the door of Cruella Braverman and howling for her to be sacked.

Could it be the Establishment have finally had enough of this government?

There is some worry floating around that being sacked would help her bid to be leader of the Tóraidhe party: but it's no bother if she is. Her policies appeal to the actual far right rather than traditional Tory party members and both constituencies hate the colour of her face, so it wouldn't help them.

I think there might actually be hope for 🇬🇧 after all.

Another Curse

Stipe me they're queueing up to be cursed.

Sue-Ellen Cassiana Braverman* you are cursed. Every death you cause returns to you. Nothing you do can prosper and you are doomed.

This curse is strengthened every time anyone mentions, buys, eats, or even thinks of tofu.

And let us not forget that in chaos magic laughter is a very powerful banishing ritual and here we have a mistress of banishing:

*Stupid name.