Despite having knocked about and met all sorts of people there are still many human experiences I can't claim to understand and I make a point of trying.
One of them is that I can't claim to understand the experience of being transgender however I have been reading two trans women's blogs to try to get a better understanding.
One I have been reading for literally years although she has now removed much of the posts about her process of transitioning now. What strikes me is the sheer bravery of doing that in her fifties, having previously been married to a woman and having retired early from a career as a tax inspector. My main impression is actually how magical this has been - she has literally refashioned herself as she thought fit! She doesn't even have her original family name now and instead has a surname she chose herself. Many of the things she talks about are still things I will never understand but I think that means it's for me to sit down and shut up.
The other one is on Instagram and their life isn't going so well. Bigots at this point would of course say that they want to transition as a result of their diagnosed Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder but sensible people know that that is just hatred. In fact the sheer trauma occasioned by being trans would likely cause a personality disorder. In fact I was shocked to read that as recently as 2017 a trans person was given asylum elsewhere because it would be too dangerous for them to come back to Britain. This country is an embarrassment. This person's transition also isn't going so well and they have long periods without being prescribed testosterone. They are so brave and so kind to other people: they literally put on their Instagram that anyone who wanted to go round for Christmas lunch would be welcome!
A Trans Spell
This blog is about the magic and I suspect trans people are naturals at it. So here's a spell that can only be done by trans people.
Put a curse on your dead name. What the curse does is of course up to you but don't think small. How good is it if every time someone uses your dead name or misgenders you patriarchy, Donald Trump or white privilege wither. We know that therefore are many people who will happily murder trans people so literally don't worry about whether this is ethical. One more cursed rapist means fewer rapes, for example.
And finally I've found my totem dog:
I knew someone in one of my college computer classes who was a hermaphrodite. They presented as a male but have a very female voice. They had been horribly mistreated and really could have used a good Professional Psychologist to work with. I did what I could to air out and heal small wounds but working with trauma is a process. The other men in the class tried to bully this person with insinuations and questions, but I muted them with my sharp-tongued rebukes. I could do nothing about the hostility in their eyes though. Sometimes I still get surprised at how unnaturally fearful other people can get about things they can't relate too.
ReplyDeleteYes and it's the entitlement of feeling you can just treat someone how you like.
DeleteCome to think of it I knew someone who was in that position although assigned female gender and experienced the same shit. Honestly, people.
Being unnaturally fearful about things people can't relate to is something that I've never understood. The Grandson I Raised is Gender Fluid, always has been, since about age 2, they are 21 now and the hardest part for me is remembering to use the Gender Neutral pronouns they request so that I'm not referring to a specific Gender. Hard for me after 21 Years of referring to my Grandchild as 'he', tho' I know it's possible to change even an Old Person's Habits, since I Adopted my Grandkids and after 15 Years of having a specific Name, the Grandson opted to change theirs at the Adoption, the transition took time but now we never even think of the original Name anymore and never mess up.
ReplyDeleteThis is so good to hear, Bohemian! Yes, I find it difficult as well but keep on trying and correcting myself.
DeleteWhat you say about fear is also totally on point and I think a lot of people make efforts never to encounter anything outside their existing experience...