Agony Hound: My cash-loving girlfriend won’t stop having affairs with rich men

No, seriously. This is a Dear Deirdre (Here) and is just calling out to be worried by The Hound.

DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend loves flashing the cash so much that she has constant affairs with rich men.

I’m a joiner, I work hard and earn a decent wage but it’s not enough for her.

I’m 28 and she’s 27. I wanted to marry her but I think I need to face the reality that I won’t ever earn enough money in her eyes.

She’s a beautician and is really stunning so has no problem getting attention.

We’ve been together for three years and I found out about her first fling within the first six months because her colleague let slip that she was seeing someone else.

I forgave her after she explained she wasn’t sure we would last — and this other guy was “insurance”.

I reassured her I wanted us to work and she said she did too. I thought we had put it behind us.

I try to spoil her as much as possible and take her to the best bars and restaurants I can afford.

But it’s not enough. Last month I found a stash of designer handbags, shoes and jewellery in the back of her wardrobe.

We don’t live together and I was looking for a jacket I’d left at hers.

I picked up a tiny Burberry clutch and a note fell out. It read: “The hottest bag, for the hottest girl. Love your sweet cheeks M.” She walked in on me while I was still sitting there.

Within minutes the gory details had tumbled out of her mouth.

She said it wasn’t about the sex, which was normally forgettable, it was about being spoiled with gifts and being driven around in luxury cars.

How can we have a future when all I can offer is a ride in my white van?

DEIDRE SAYS: A glitzy lifestyle and wads of cash are no substitute for true love. If she doesn’t want you unconditionally, no amount of money will ever be enough for her love.

Perhaps there were other reasons apart from her expensive tastes that made her cheat. While it may seem she is nothing more than a gold digger, there may be other aspects of the relationship she was not happy with.

She has to learn that she can’t have it all. Talk together about changes you would both like to see that would make your relationship more satisfying.

My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help. But ultimately if her love for you remains shallow, you need to seriously consider walking away.

You deserve someone who would be proud to sit next to you in your Transit.

The Hound says: I have honestly given much thought about what to say to you. I have thought about how to try to be subtle and it's frankly rather difficult to know how to, so I am giving up on the subtlety front and will say what I'm thinking!

Firstly, you do realise you are her side hustle don't you? She has actually told you that she sees people as insurance and while she would deny it if you asked her, there is no indication she doesn't see you as insurance as well.

If you think about how she sees you, it is not impossible that she sees you as the reliable one who will put up with her games, in fact as insurance!

Secondly, I would suggest you keep my side hustle scenario in mind if you talk to her about it. Since she seems to see people as mere scenery to prop up her own life, if you try to talk to her about this it is not outside the bounds of possibility that she will say all the right things and, if you press it and confront her with her behaviour, she will try to manipulate you. My bet would be that she would talk about her poor self esteem and tell you how good you are for her. Keep in mind, though, the sort of things she could also be saying to her other hustles!

The bottom line is you are frankly too good for this gold digger and she's taking you for a ride. However you are in charge of your own life and I'm never one to stop people screwing up their own lives. You may care to optimize your income though, and I think that the film studio called Triga would like to use you in their films. They use this talent agency if you want to apply. Your girlfriend's reaction should be interesting.

If you decide you want to end it with her, it sounds like she either won't be bothered (she's probably got several insurance policies) or else it will turn into a mammoth drama and she'll try to marry you. My suggestion would be rather than try to end it have some fun by telling her that since she's basically a prostitute anyway you would like to formalise this and be her pimp.