Gay Men and Their Mothers and Families Again

I have been reading the blog of a man who is Christian and identifies as homosexual rather than gay or queer. What strikes me is that his relationship with his mother is*exactly* like my relationship with my mother and is just the sort of enmeshed, inescapable relationship which I theorise many gay men have with their mothers:

I come from a dysfunctional family. In fact, I think that families that really love each other are a dangerous myth invented by movies and television. To give you some perspective: my mother doesn't talk to her mother, and hadn't spoken to her father for about ten years before he died (and didn't go to his funeral). She doesn't speak to two out of her three living brothers, and the one she is on speaking terms with none of us really like. I cannot be in the same room as my sister, who is, if not my nemesis, certainly the bane of my life and the worst human being I have ever met (an attitude for which my mother ironically scolds me some of the time). My father hasn't spoken to his sister for about fifteen years, and has a cold relationship with his mother who always treated my aunt and cousins with favouritism and who, during the course of my short life, has moved further and further away from us; first to Cornwall, then to France, and now Australia. I wouldn't care if I never saw her again and I don't think my father would either. I barely know my distant relatives; I don't really care for any of my cousins. You can feel the love, can't you.

I seldom, if ever, tell my mother anything of importance. For years growing up I was lulled by her claims to be an unselfish, caring person who was mistreated by her own family, and that her constant comparing my brother and me to other children, her constant put-downs, &c were just my misunderstandings. One parents' evening I shall remember to my dying day. Mrs Wheeler said to my mother: "This boy has produced the best piece of English literature coursework I have ever seen for GCSE." When we got home mother said that Mrs Wheeler obviously hadn't taught English for very long. This was the same parents' evening at which my mother failed to confront my history teacher about her constant bullying, and said afterwards: "well, what was I supposed to say?" Source

Various people responded sympathetically to his post, suggesting various practical things he could do to extricate himself from his situation. The trouble is it actually goes much deeper and is very ambivalent indeed, as the same blogger comments on his other blog:

 By the way, over the years you might have gotten the impression that I dislike my mother. That's a very complex thing but I suppose I could say briefly: don't ever tell me that homosexuals are attached to their mothers. My mother is responsible for considerable emotional damage and from what I can tell she thinks, given her own strained relationship with her mother (for whom I have a lasting affection...strange isn't it?), that that's one of the best things about being a parent. Source

Image source  No judgement is implied of the son's sexuality or his relationship with his mother.