Transgressive acts as gateways to the power

I'm still not settled in a permanent address. The upshot of this is that roads, routes, boundaries, & doorways of all sorts are featuring highly in my inner world at the moment. The spell I did last year with the river continues to have its kick-back effect on me, & I'm finding that in one way or another my life is involving endless unplanned crossings of the River Rea & its tributaries.
With magical 'coincidences' - always presented as chances & opportunities - come the challenge of transgressive acts. To me these are a key to the power. Initiation actually never ends & at each step of the way we have to change what we do to enable a new self to arise yet again. So often these initiations present as possible actions which will always transgress personal or societal norms. We are free to ignore these, but that just leaves us exactly where we are until the next one comes up. The sort of actions that I mean are instanced in my own situation by some opportunities involved in buying a flat. Would I gazump people to get what I wanted? Yes, I would. A minor example, but for me it contradicts the inner voice of my mother that you should always put other people before yourself. The point is that that act would transgress that norm for me personally. As it happens it looks as if I'm not going to have to gazump anyone, but I have made an offer on a flat which would mean ending the occupants' tenancy. Again, this would be perfectly my right, but my mother's commentary on this would be, 'You're putting people out in the street,' - this despite the fact they know their tenancy is coming to an end anyway, & we're hardly talking of a South African-style put-their-stuff-out-in-the-street eviction. This inner commentary is also transgressed by the fact that the flat belongs to a company which has gone into administration, so is being sold by the bank, trying to rescue what they can. This is the bit that would particularly send my mother into a dead spin - she would see this as profiting from other people's misfortune. It is only now that I'm realising my mother gave me a world-view in which I should actively disadvantage myself, & has bequeathed me this inner critic that actively stops me doing things which would be perfectly reasonable in anyone else's eyes. The simple fact is that in the world we live in, businesses go bust & their assets are sold off cheap, & if I were not to be involved in that it would still happen anyway. The magical lesson of this is to take it as one of those magical opportunities that sometimes come up: transgressing my historic inner critic is merely changing the way I act, with the immense effect of making my world more open to these opportunities & enabling me not actively to disadvantage myself, which is what my mother expects me to do.
The kind of acts I do not mean in this post are the kind of transgressive acts sought out by some magicians with the idea of progressing. Once you're on the path these things just arise & you can't force them. To set out looking for mores to transgress is to court disaster. Crowley defined 'black' magic as the refusal to accept change, & I think he's right - in this case, though, it may be defined as the insistence on setting the pace of change instead of letting it happen.
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