You Are Reflected in Your Online Behaviour

Regular readers will not be surprised that I have always had a strong sense of self, am critical and not easily swayed once I have made up my formidably stubborn mind. I am therefore far from convinced that you become the media you consume. That's why I'm not a very hungry caterpillar. I do think online behaviour is more susceptible to influence and reflects your real self more accurately. I think there's also some evidence that people are often more honest online and show more of their real self.

This post is occasioned by me deactivating both my Twitter accounts because it has been bought by Elon Musk, and it's a bit of a housekeeping exercise.

I am probably more careful online to make my behaviour consciously match my values than in person, strangely. I haven't had an Amazon account for several years, just because of its odious practices. There is nothing you can get on Amazon that you can't get elsewhere. I am happier using odd retailers if I can pay with Paypal.

I rather randomly chose Blogger as the platform for this blog and my other one and haven't really had reason to regret it. If Blogger ever did something that made me move it would be to a couple of blogging platforms based in France.

However I haven't really found a social media that I like. I am on Facebook but only for one group and literally use it for nothing else. I don't like how Facebook works and find it quite toxic. I have been rather ambivalent about Twitter - one handle was for tarot meditations as a spin off of this blog and the other was about politics. But I found Twitter also quite toxic with LOADS of very obvious bots.

I do miss being on Yahoo groups ages ago. Now there's a golden age that won't return.

But I think my happiest time online has been on Tumblr before the purge. In case anyone doesn't know Tumblr used to be a fun place full of artists and interesting people (if you know Birmingham, it was like Moseley online) but it's gone through a number of buy outs and successive changes to make it acceptable to advertisers. The one called the purge was to stop adult content being accessible without the protection of login etc. This was obviously on the way because you could access just anything on there. Unfortunately they scared off the sex workers, made the platform unfriendly to use but bizarrely allowed a bunch of Nazis to carry on on there. Absolutely bizarre.

The many users annoyed at the purge left en masse, and managed to make traffic to the site drop so dramatically that it lost a HUGE amount in value. I think something similar is planned for Twitter although I just did it on my own.

Unfortunately Tumblr isn't there to go back to and will obviously not last because it hasn't broken even for years and has become irrational. It's largely populated by people who use it to spite whoever owns it, although obviously they would be my sort of people. I did like when they banned the hashtag #me, though. That was insane.

Despite also not liking Zucker I do have an Instagram and like it. But it doesn't represent my anti plutocracy values so if anyone has any suggestions for viable alternatives I would be grateful to hear them.

And if anyone who's regular wants to follow each other on social media leave your email in a comment which I won't publish.

Knowing the Shadow with the Tarot and Another Great Occult Secret

It is surely common knowledge that in Jungian psychology there is an idea of the shadow, defined either as parts of ourselves that the conscious isn't aware of, or else possibly the entirety of the subconscious.

We get hints of it when reflected by other people - the classic one is when someone tells you that you do something and it is complete news to you. I must probably stress caution here because of course the reflections we get from other people are influenced by their perception.

In one of my many previous jobs every year you were given feedback. This took the entire team being given the opportunity to say whatever they liked about you and it was then given to you completely unfiltered. I must say that as a tool for personal and professional development it was completely useless. If you have any self-awareness at all, there will be no surprises, and if you lack self awareness it will come as such a shock it will also be useless. The team lead in particular spent a fortnight crying in a corner.

A means of divination such as tarot can give us a privileged insight into what is going on for other people and also into stuff we ourselves may not be aware of. An exercise I like to do is go through the deck and see which cards either repulse me or that I find it difficult to connect with, and it's fairly likely my shadow will be in there somewhere. I'm delighted to announce that I seem to be making some progress because the cards I find difficult are not the same as they were some years ago. I do, however, have an ongoing problem with the 6 of cups, sometimes called the 4711 card because it brings up grandma's scent. My own upbringing means that I tend to interpret it in a twisted way.

I have recently come across a tarot writer who blew me away by saying that our perception is influenced by evolution and survival. I have never taken to the idea that everything is illusion but this is an idea I like a lot. I'm just not naming the writer now because he credits someone else with the idea and of course I can't find it in the book. He says that if we saw the whole of tarot we would die. Like the face of G*d although of course we witches say that that's just like seeing the face of the milkman.

Speaking of change and perception, the great occult secret I'm going to let out of the bag today is that progress in magical traditions is almost invariably accompanied by a load of shit happening to you. I mean, you only have to look back through this blog. The reason for that is that unfinished business from previous incarnations and this one gets corrected as you go on. Yes I know this is no comfort at all, I just put it out there to indicate that if anyone claims magic can get you three homes, four lovers and a string of cars, and never experience any problems, they really don't know what they're talking about. For those you need the prosperity gospel, not us, and the fact that we witches think every day should be a celebration and there is no need to make things difficult, doesn't stop Life happening!

The Witch Figure Again

I saw a thing on one of my other social networks which said, tell me you're a witch without telling me you're a witch. Other people were putting things like having lots of herbs, jars and candles but mine seem a little wild in comparison.

People don't understand the values which drive me, which can make my actions incomprehensible sometimes.

I do actually have jars, candles and other weird shit, but people think I've travelled a lot.

Strange things happen around me, almost as if people were being faced with their destiny.

People do pick up on the more psychic bits when I tell them what they're thinking.

Cows stop giving milk.

Just joking, I am a city person and the only time I go near a cow is in Tesco.

My Lent Book has Found Me

I just knew that publishing my last post would put the message out to the universe and a suitable Lent book would appear. And it is the autobiography of Patricia Crowther, the famous Gardnerian High Priestess of Sheffield.
Personally I'm finding that books about magic are well nigh impossible to read nowadays. I get less and less interested in hearing what other witches have to say about their magic - regular readers will be aware of my philosophy that my magic is my own and yours is yours and once a person develops their own magic there is a limit to what they can learn from other people. I don't, however, have a problem with reading about the practitioners of other 'denominations' of witchcraft.
And many of them seem to be Wiccan. I read Lois Bourne's autobiography forever ago. I've read Gardner's books about Wicca as well as some of Philip Heselton's books about Gardner. You may remember that last summer an attempt to read Doreen Valiente Witch sitting on the canal bank had to be aborted because she had the most peculiar effect of making men walk up and show me their erections. Nor have I neglected the Alexandrians: I was very impressed in Maxine Sanders's book to read about how when she was living in a little village in Ireland she used to come downstairs in the morning to discover a rabbit hanging off the doorknob and a note beginning 'Dear Madam witch...' wanting some magic.
Perhaps this reading books is the modern equivalent of magical people meeting to stop each other going off the rails. It is certainly the equivalent for those who don't have a real community to interact with. I have a real community I could be interacting with but obviously I've taken a dislike to them so don't.
I have only read one chapter and already like Crowther enormously - but then her theatrical background was always going to be a hit with me. One anecdote I particularly like is that Arnold her husband was going home from Gerald Gardner's on the underground one evening. He had an armful of old swords which Gerald had given him, and which weren't wrapped up very well. An old man stopped him and asked him (this was in the 1950s) if he'd just been demobbed from the Boer War!

Reflections on the Witch (yet again)

I commented that I've really been rather unwell. Fortunately I had annual leave this week and it's only been towards the end of the week my 'mojo' has come back with a bump. It's made me think again about how nobody gets the witch...
- We often live by a whole set of rules which nobody else even knows exist...and our lives are an indictment of other peoples' rules.
- Because our world view is different, definitions such as losing and winning can be completely different for us.
- We don't believe in our religion, magic or whatever. We damn well know.
- We don't make mistakes and don't have time to regret. If you don't make mistakes, you're not even trying and there's nothing we can't turn round to our advantage.
- It is impossible to be alone as a witch. We exercise personal responsibility but when push comes shove, the help will always be there.
- Because we observe the 'tides' of nature, we know how to align things so they happen inevitably, and that times and seasons change one thing into another.
- We are unstoppable: as a force of nature if you try to contain us we come back stronger.
- Finally, as the world's most unorganised grouping of chronic non-joiners, we know that many of us who look different from us. Our greatest strength is our refusal to make our own witchcraft everybody's.
As you can see, my mojo has returned stronger than ever :-)

Black Magic

Some themes recur again and again in my life, and thus in this blog. I can get a bit dogmatic about them, but for me they form the major ascesis of my witching life.
One of them is that both the white magic and black magic brigades are on a hiding to nothing. An agency worker the other day was talking an impressive array of weird shit and ultimately said that her mother is 'a white witch '. I am not a white witch. Of course that is a statement which will have people up in arms. What I mean by that is that I am not a person who kids myself that all can only ever be positive and sweetness and light. Put like that it sounds ridiculous, but that is actually what white magic means. Personally I don't have time for all that - the real work of the witch calls and there are rapists out there needing erectile dysfunction.
Neither am I a black magician, although regular readers here will agree with me that my magic inclines towards the 'left hand path' of development by breaking taboos and conventions. The definition of black magic as being for purely selfish purposes is a parody of any magical system ever, and clearly originates in a fear of magic as well as an unquestioning acceptance of our society's equation of black with bad.
In fact any attempt to be all good or bad creates a dualism where the opposite springs into prominence. Hence the invention of the devil. A wholly good monotheistic deity leaves a vacuum which needs to be filled. Similarly attempts to ignore human impulses such as sex and hate creates a dualism where these impulses become the very devil.
I have been scouring the Internet and failed to find a definition I attribute to Crowley that the black magician is one who will not accept change (I'm doing this from memory and can't even remember where I read this so don't quote me). I'm guessing that he meant by that that that sort of magician misses the point of magic - for Crowley, the knowledge and conversation of ones Holy Guardian Angel - and instead aspires to some goal of his own devising. I'm interpreting this half-remembered quote therefore as meaning that 'black' magic misses the point completely. Interestingly in this view the black and white crowds actually fall into the same trap of setting their sights on the wrong thing and missing the point.
More of my little dogmatic opinions are that the Lady will always provide and the right resources will always appear at the right moment. One I think I've talked about less here is the paradox that the adventure of magic both keeps its practitioners young and also ages them. It ages people because magic works to move people on to the next thing, resulting in much illness and trouble in life. It keeps them young, because magic nurtures a childlike sense of play and adventure which the muggles just don't have. A sense of play combined with a matter of fact acceptance of the opportunities the universe sends ones way, is a recipe for a youthful resilience which can be extended well into old age.
The details are nowhere near sorted yet but a major opportunity seems to be arising in my work life. Away from Zippy permanently with excellent prospects for promotion and development. I have viewed my current difficult circumstances at work as an opportunity and so the universe has come up with the goods. Lucky I'm not one of those awful black magicians - damn, I've bitten my tongue, it's so far in my cheek - who set their minds on the wrong things and so don't accept the universe's gift!

Important things in the life of the witch

The picture is of someone camping in Birmingham city centre, May 2014. I've decided it doesn't violate my policy of not posting pictures of people's bedrooms because I see no reason not to post the *outsides* of hundreds of bedrooms you see behind it.

I've had problems thinking of a title for the multitude of ideas going through my head at the moment, most of which should find themselves into this post, in a more-or-less connected way.

Being a witch involves a certain - I don't quite want to use the words loyalty or faithfulness - perhaps adherence is the word, to the witch thing. Ones witchcraft is one of the more precious things one can have, & not to value it above all else is actually to risk it. In the midst of witch wars we forget this - abuse the gift & the powers can take it from you. I have recently been disturbed by the un-witchlike behaviour of one who calls himself a witch. I have remonstrated with him but he has ignored this.

The difficulty is this: there has to be a sense in which the witch is first & foremost a witch, & if you try to do it any other way you are not being a witch. Or at the least you will hold back your own development: I have had a witch tell me if she had her life over again she wouldn't have married, so as to give herself to magic the more.

Once the witch is on the path of the witching, she will find everything that prevents her on that path being removed from her, frequently quite painfully. In my own case I knew a relationship was holding me back in all sorts of ways, didn't tell anyone, then found it was confirmed in a divination. Of course as to the ontological reason why people are camping in Park Street, I can't begin to tell you at this moment - but they're not reduced to a cardboard box in Paradise Place. Not everything fits into this abandonment-supplying model I'm writing about.

The opposite side of this pole is that when this happens the universe rises up to provide for you. No seriously. Don't look the universe's gift in the eye: the powers are very grateful to their priests & priestesses, & will happily give us what we need when we need it. It's just sometimes we don't recognise it as such. There is a tradition in the modern craft that the witch will be provided with what she needs then a little more. This is certainly my experience, it's just sometimes it can be very unexpected when it happens!

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Witches Apart

There's a funny thing about the phenomenon of the solitary witch from the 1980s onwards. Historically it represents an older magic than Wicca does - of the individual person who learned magic usually from books, did folk medicine, etc.

Witchily that's not really the point I want to make. In witch terms my point is more that while we are solitaries, it is well known that we tend to be a community of solitaries, but less well known that we stand out (as a group) like a sore thumb, even if people don't have a word for us.

I'm writing this in a certain pub in the city centre, where I've come to try to chat with the dead landlay again as an experiment - & succeeded.

On the way here I got some money out by the cathedral where the skateboarding emos looked at me like I was one of them. Then a homeless man greeted me, without a request for money, which he didn't to all the other people passing him. I suppose what these two groups have in common is that they are on the edge, which is dangerously close to being a hedge. Have I mentioned before that that hedge represents liminality & transformation? Once you've seen the unreal, the impossible is nothing, & it's not even inconceivable to see a witch.

This is the real test of a witch: can she do the tasks of witchcraft, of transformation, balancing & rearranging? The power to do these things can be recognised by anyone, in dire straits usually, & this is when they come to us, even if they don't know what we are. I may wear black but that black is a shining light to those stuck in the hedge with no apparent way forward.

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Avoidance of the p-word, a drift, & encountering underpass Birmingham

It has taken me this long to realise that I have so far avoided calling my approach to the Hedge, the spirit of place, by the name of psychogeography. Witches tend not to be thought of as psychogeographers, but we must be, since it is defined as �the study of the specific effects of the geographical environment, consciously organised or not, on the emotions and behaviour of individuals� (http://thoughtsfitsstarts.blogspot.com/2011/08/godfathers-of-soles.html?m=1). This came to my attention, chatting to the chiropodist the other day. I like to break people in to my weirdness gently, & I thought I would do that by telling him the classic technique of going round one place, using the map of another. He looked at me in horror, wanted to know where that would ever get you, produced a map of Barcelona out of nowhere, which he thrust into my hands & demanded to know how you'd find your way around Birmingham with that. This action raises several questions for me: the answer to one of them is that he has never been to Barcelona, but would like to go. Keeping a map of a place that you would only like to go to, & telling me to *think* that my feet will get better, to ensure they do, are actions only marginally removed, in my mind, from magic. Anyway I opened the map: I don't know what map it was, I certainly can't find one online of Barcelona that looks like it, but Birmingham's Inner Ring Road appeared on this map clearly, & even he had to admit that he could see it when I challenged him.

I think the reason I've avoided calling what I do 'psychogeography' is that when it comes down to it it is a load of poncey nonsense. In fact it's right up there with literary theory & witchcraft! There have apparently been attempts to turn psychogeography into a science, but of course it simply isn't in any conventional, repeatable, empirical sense. Of *course* this creates a crossover with witchcraft: much of the point of the modern drawing on the witch figure is its slipperiness, it is not susceptible to a single simple definition & so draws on elements of lots of things, including ones that are clearly fictional.

Defoe's Journal about the plague year is a) clearly fictional & b) written some years afterwards, but has become a key text of psychogeography. The point here is not only the effect of the city on us, but our conceptualisation of the city, in Defoe's case a reconceptualisation prompted by a disease process. Leaving aside that much of the writing about psychogeography focuses on London or Paris, Birmingham is actually also a perfect city for it: it is a city that not only changes fast, but that lends itself to personal maps & identifications. You always have your own Birmingham, created by you.

My normal custom is to go on a more traditional derive, sometimes aiming for a place & wandering around. Today I went on a  more structured wander, using a technique where the walk is more defined beforehand. The ancient mystical technique used here (dating back to the 1990s) is to draw a circle on a map with a wine glass & walk around staying as close to the line as you can. I did it in an updated way by downloading a map (credit: visitbirmingham.com) then drawing a shape on it using Microsoft Paint. I arbitrarily chose a heart, & the green lines were some possible routes that I drew in, since I don't really know that side of the city.

I tried to stay as close to the heart shape as I could, allowing myself to be sidetracked if I saw something interesting but always trying to return as close as I could to the heart. I tend to think of that area behind Aston University as 'old' Birmingham, because it's been less affected by the re-redevelopment since the nineties. In fact there was a real concrete jungle experience in the shape of the underpass at Ashted Circus (pictured facing towards Eastside), forcing me to revise my previous idea that Holloway Head was the only traffic roundabout with a garden in the middle left in the city centre, although Ashted Circus was actually on the middleway.

This walk was interesting in comparison to the more conventional derives I do, since it imposed a form on what I was going to do, changing the dynamic to one where I had to stick to a plan, that was nonetheless completely arbitrary to begin with. Because I took a map & drew a shape on it it also made me go somewhere I have only seen from a bus before, thereby opening me up to a new experience. The area I walked through is on the one hand largely industrial, yet on the other I skirted the science park, Aston university, Millenium Point & Birmingham Metropolitan college, making it pretty academic too. I didn't like the way it felt, if I were to be absolutely frank, but I think only because it feels to me like the spirit of place is unloved around there. The industrial & educational uses of that place are in a sense all too transitory - people go there for a time & leave, meaning the spirit of place is unloved & unnurtured. Even the few residential buildings are for students so it is terribly transitory.

I'm still determined to superimpose the map of 1731 on a modern map & walk that - the only reason I didn't do it today was it gave me too much of a headache trying to do it last night. But I definitely will do this shape on a map technique again. Drawing on the more occult aspects of psychogeography, walking a sigil in the city, or mapping a derive & turning that into a sigil, could both present interesting potentials in exploring & interacting with the spirit of place.

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Witches & Christians, with reference to Bishop Pat Buckley

The picture is actually of Pope St Pius X celebrating Low Mass. I have commented before that he was plainly a man who knew how to dress for church, but he was plainly also a man who knew the value of subtle.

I have a confession to make. It's something that is perhaps unusual among witches, it may even be surprising to anyone who knows me & my history, but I don't actually have a problem with Christianity, myself. I have a problem with certain Christians, their beliefs & actions, obviously, but my opinion is the Christianity is not *that* incompatible with a magical worldview or even a witchcraft milieu.

They don't like to talk about it, but the real reason Christians tend to in-fighting is that there have been two distinct strands to Christianity from the beginning. One I will call the charismatic one, which is (to over-simplify for the purpose of the argument) more spontaneous, inspired, seeks its authority within, & so on. The other is the authoritative strand, which is broadly more conservative, ordered, & seeks its authority outside itself, whether in scripture or church tradition.

What does this have to do with witchcraft? On the surface, nothing. However, when you translate the charismatics as hedgewitches, & the authoritarians as lineaged (or BTW, as they're called in the States), the similarity becomes apparent. The similarity to a magical world-view also becomes apparent when you consider that the two world views can rarely be clearly separated out, as I have above, one form often calls itself the other, & extremes at either end tend to flip over into the opposite, this situation will become familiar to any magical person reading this. In the interests of balance & upsetting everyone equally, the thing that Gardnerian witches don't talk about is that Gardner was also a Christian priest, or even bishop in a rather unusual independent Christian church!

Just in case there are Christians reading this who have not been exposed to a magical world view (welcome, whoever you are), we call this polarity. The entire aim of all magical systems everywhere & at all times has been the reconciliation of all opposites to the pursuit of balance. The nub here (where Christians will part company) is that actually the whole Judaeo-Christian tradition can be understood in magical terms. The best book on this is Morton Smith's Jesus the Magician; Islam has its own magical world that I don't know enough about to write on.

One of the tags on this blog that I find myself using the most often is 'the witch figure'; the fact that I find myself repeatedly chewing this over indicates the ambivalence & multi-faceted nature of the witch figure that we model ourselves on. Some of the characteristics of this figure carry heavy Christian theological ramifications, such as prophet, scapegoat, gathering, time (kairos). The only element which is almost completely missing from witchcraft is sin & redemption. The God of the Christians is plainly Y*hw*h, G*d of Israel, & Jesus is their messiah. We, if we don't have duotheistic views, have often several divinities or a henotheistic God and/or Goddess. I would recognise multiple Jesus figures (downplaying his divinity for Christians) as semi human/divine figures, including each witch herself. I've ignored the Holy Spirit so far, but I would equate the Spirit to any of the entities involved in witchcraft cosmology or even the reality that some witches recognise behind God & Goddess.

This is a roundabout way of saying that since we magical people understand thing happening on several planes of existence (the way things manifest for us represents patterns & systems of reality that we can't physically see on this plane) the way witches would understand this also to Christians, & the way things play out here are part of a cosmic drama representing the realities behind what we see.

Which brings me nicely to the subject of Bishop Pat Buckley (http://www.bishoppatbuckley.co.uk/), who is the bishop of what's called an Independent Catholic Church. He was ordained a Catholic priest in his twenties: up to there his career superficially embodies the authoritative side of Christianity. However when in the 1980s his bishop tried to suppress his views about the ordination of women & homosexuality, he felt he had no option to embark on an independent ministry, & ultimately sought consecration as a Bishop in the line of Archbishop Thuc, a bishop who performed many consecrations without the blessing of Rome. His status therefore, as far as Rome is concerned, is 'valid but irregular': no doubt they wouldn't want to regularise him given his history, but he is a bishop. Why I'm going into all this is that his career here tries to reconcile the two sides - charismatic & authoritative - of Christianity, a reconciliation of opposites that is exactly the aim of most magical practitioners.

I find it interesting also how his prophetic role may manifest energies that are unseen. His blog (http://wisecatholic.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1), to which I subscribe, makes for interesting reading, not least for the prophetic criticism he makes of the church life which surrounds him, even attracting anonymous  comments from local priests. This may seem like a disaffected former priest attracting other malcontents but I don't think that's quite what's happening, in fact on a higher level it more manifests a) an ongoing argument in the religious world more generally, & b) when a culture of disaffection is fostered by heavy-handed authoritarianism, it actually creates its opposite (in a polarity philosophy), in this case clusters of people actively resisting the authority. In this case I have no doubt that the local 'proper' Catholic bishop considers him a thorn in his side, but if one were merely to call him a malcontent, in an attempt to make his existence insignificant, it is to ignore a whole layer of meaning, that we humans ignore at our peril.

And he certainly does seem to be filling the roles that are often reflected in the witch figure. Prophet, by his ongoing criticism of the Catholic church as it is. Sanctuary for those nobody else will care for, by his gay marriages & ordination of women. Confidant, in listening to those who also have an unwelcome story to tell. Scapegoat, by his existence as an object of blame for the local Catholic community & others. I feel he was also scapegoated when a local judge decided to divulge his HIV+ status in court (do privacy laws not count in Northern Ireland?). Incidentally he was in court for allegedly conducting sham marriages to enable foreigners to stay in the country. In fact he almost exactly embodies all the aspects of the witch figure despite being a Christian...

Or perhaps because of it. My point here is that if Christians follow where genuine discipleship leads them they will step on toes & upset apple carts. That's the point.

The other point is that from a witch point of view the things they do will have a broader, more cosmic vibrational aspect. In fact, they may have more in common with us than either of us likes to think, just another of those surprises that the universe likes to give us!

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Adult children estranged from parents

I have been reading around this heart-wrenching subject. Some of the stories - on both sides - are very distressing, yet this seems to be an increasing phenomenon. I would point to several common factors in the cases I'm reading about:

1. The parents have difficulty allowing the children to grow up. Sorry but that's just something that happens & there's no point avoiding it.

2. The relationships that I'm seeing described are usually quite unboundaried, by which I mean the parent will do something that the child finds unacceptable. That is one thing but the parents tend to ignore requests to stop, or attempts to put personal boundaries in place, which leads to...

3. The relationships are usually quite invalidating, which means that the reasonable wishes & views of the child are not respected.

4. This has a tendency to carry on through generations.

I call as my first witness (yes, I know this is a strange phrase to use, but this has a purpose, since the Hound's going somewhere with this)  this passage:

'I am pretty much estranged from my whole family, most of the time, for the last 23 years since I stopped drinking. I don't know your situation, mine has to do with I wanted a path of healing and recovery, and not one person in my family wanted the same. I was quite self destructive in my early 20's, until I began recovery/healing, and really, I often wonder if my family of origin would be more comfortable with me if I had continued to self destruct. I have two brothers who died way too young, one at 18 and the other at 42. Just in a nutshell, what I said before...me wanting recovery and I felt that to get that, I had to leave that family, for the most part.' (http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/singles/msg0816055222388.html).

This person was clearly left with no option if she wanted to stay alive.

Again, & this example better illustrates the kind of relationship I'm describing above:

'My mother is just a garden variety control freak, not abusive, but my college roommates, ex-husband, and now SO have all picked up on something "off" about her. As an adult I realized that it's that I always had to be the one to draw the line as a kid, because there was a sense that she wouldn't stop at anything to get her way. (Unfortunately, my ex-husband is similar in his dealings with me.) I can see from others' postings that my mother actually didn't take it very far, but it was a little scary to feel that sense that she might. Her own mother was alcoholic and abusive, and my mother, as the oldest girl, had to raise her younger brothers and sisters, so that situation improved from one generation to the next--my mother drinks but isn't alcoholic, is a control freak and can be mean and use "spankings" or slaps but never got out of control and beat us.' (http://chronicle.com/forums/index.php?topic=38405.60)

I call as my next witness a clinical psychologist in a newspaper article. Unfortunately the article (a capture illustrates this post) is not very clear but I can see how this problem foments in parent/adult child conflict around growing up & the way it persists across generations. I mean, so does alcoholism. Your parents really do fuck you up in all sorts of ways (I'm secure in the knowledge I'll never be a parent myself). The source of that article is: http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1454&dat=19900317&id=Rr4sAAAAIBAJ&sjid=ARQEAAAAIBAJ&pg=2612,762833. From a Witch point of view, if you have reached a point where your relationship with someone is so destructive that there is no option to get out, then that may be your will. This, of course, is one of those cases where ones Will & decision-making will not be completely without conflicting emotions & ambivalent feelings.

I have one more source to quote on this, it is by an etiquette expert called Mary Jewell (http://www.examiner.com/article/estrangement-from-parents-an-unnatural-relationship). One of the suggestions that comes up on google when you search for adult children estranged from parents is, interestingly 'How do I become estranged from my parents?', & this was right there on the first page. The sources I have referred to above are all ones Ms Jewell uses, in fact her article is my primary source for the difficult things reposted above, but she uses them differently. I always understood etiquette to be about manners, but she is not writing about that, she is writing about morals. An etiquette article on this subject would be about how to behave in this kind of difficult family situation, but she is rather interested in criticising children who make the decision. For a start she describes the relationship as unnatural, which is more the province of theology & philosophy than etiquette. Her theological posture is made clear by her quoting the Bible at the beginning of the article: if this was really an article on etiquette it would not begin by telling people they were breaking one of the Commandments. I also notice that the newspaper she quotes has a heavy Christian slant, & that her other articles on examiner.com assert such things as that parents should be married - in fact I haven't seen one article by her that seems to me to refer to etiquette rather than morals.

And this is where it seems to me she gets very naughty with her sources (since she doesn't seem to know what etiquette is she has presumably not heard of netiquette). I have quoted these sources at length to provide the original context as a foil for direct quotes from Ms Jewell's article to show her use of them. For a start she draws her description of estrangement as 'unnatural' from the article by a psychologist in the newspaper article. I'd have to repeat that the newspaper clearly has a Christian agenda (therefore, I'm thinking, pro-God-created nuclear family), however the article also seems to me to allow much more for the complexities of a situation than Ms Jewell is. It is not going straight to 'you've broken a commandment & chosen an unnatural life'.

Ms Jewell refers to the first quotation I make (with a direct link) like this:

'Reading blogs written by estranged people can be interesting. People work hard to justify their choice of an unnatural relationship, describing beliefs and reasons for which they choose estrangement from their own family.'

Obviously having beliefs & reasons for a choice is wrong. There is also *no* compassion for the obvious difficulty & distress of the person in my first quote. But her use of the second quote is more unfair, taking one phrase *completely* out of context & choosing to ignore the indications of a difficult family life given in a lengthier extract:

'[...] a person just needs to select some dynamite descriptive words, such as 'garden variety control freak' or 'toxic.' to label one or both parents. Next, a person must select 'happy' people with whom to socialize.'

The irony is she has a point, which needless to say she completely (I would hate to imply wilfully) misunderstands: it is totally likely that the pattern of estrangement will continue over generations. She implies in her article that these parents function as bad role models. I think it more likely these parents are so screwed up by their own parents, they cock it up themselves & get estranged. But Ms Jewell wouldn't know that, because she's intent on not listening, criticising people's morals, & painting these already damaged people as somehow bad.

Do I have concrete suggestions? You bet. 1. Parents, listen to your children. Really listen. Show an interest in them. Take time to talk with them.

2. Most important, give credence to what your child says. 'Oh, you exaggerate,' repeated enough, becomes, 'You're a liar'.

3. If your child tells you they don't like something, stop doing it.

As an adult if your relationship with your parents is deteriorating, try to get a disinterested party as an intermediary. Both sides must be prepared to hear some hurtful things. If you try & fail to make it work (on either side), then, the blessing of the witch upon you. We cannot always work relationships the way we want.

I wanted to end this post with a quote on etiquette or manners, but I think it may be wasted on Some People.

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Urban grimoire: ancient incantations for use on plumbers, electricians, & other trades

I'll grant you the illustration to this post is somewhat gratuitous, but suited to the subject none the less. Today I want to share with you two powerful incantations that have marvellous effects on all builders & other tradesmen. They have been passed down in my family tradition for years & years, & are one of the things I learned from my mother, when she was teaching me witchcraft. Truly, the effects are miraculous if they are used properly at the right time, but the instructions must be followed to the letter, or all is lost.

Essential preparation: Paying for work done by cheque. This step is traditional & essential to the working of the spell. It is not necessary to do anything to the cheque, although further effects may be caused by allowing the cheque to carry other spells.

Correct timing: After you have paid for the work but before the cheque has cleared. One of the advantages of this method is that most traders present cheques to the bank in multiples, which increases the time frame you can work this spell.

Essential disposition: You must be dissatisfied with the work. The importance of that cannot be overestimated. On the other hand it works better is you can manage a certain icy coolness. Raging fury will not help much here.

How to use the incantations: they can be used several ways, as long as the actual words communicate themselves to the trader, whether by phone, text message, email, whatever.

The spell is in two steps.

First you ring your bank (or log on) & cancel the cheque. The effect of the incantations is lessened if you don't actually do this. Remember the Witch must be a person of her word.

Next your ring up the trader (or write, etc) & say the words of the incantation to him. The words must be said aloud & it should need only one repetition. The words are:

'I have stopped the cheque I gave you.'

This will cause the trader to stop in the middle of whatever excuses they're giving you & take a deep breath. It is at this point they will start eating out of your hand. The trader should not give any more trouble. If they do you can use the second incantation, once again being prepared to follow through. This one has regional variations. In Britain the version that works is:

'I will report you to Trading Standards'.

At this point the wind will be taken completely out of their sails & any remaining bluster will vanish, to be replaced by placatory pleadings, which is when the Witch will tell him what he's going to do now.

I know this works: I used these incantations only this morning. The plumber changed from protestations of unavailability for the next six months, to being in my house ten minutes later, & the problem being sorted, to my satisfaction & for free, half an hour later.

This may not seem like a terribly sensible post, but darlings, this is what is meant by all acts are magical acts. Magic of course is causing change in conformity with Will. In my previous post I talked about the lack of attention to what they are doing that happens among those who do not live the Willed life. Sometimes these people will meet someone who does live the life, & will find that change is occuring before they know it.

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What I Really Want for Yule

Don't worry, the picture isn't what I want, it's to illustrate my general attitude to a feast dedicated to pretending to be bothered by anyone else's plight, in the dark side of the year. You see this post was inspired the other night when I was sitting waiting in the Chinese & looking through The Big Issue. I don't buy it myself, the principle of it is supposed to be 'a hand up, not a hand out', but the sellers round here take the beggar's approach of looking pleadingly & manipulatively at people.

I also understand that The Big Issue must be heavily dependent on advertising revenue, but it still struck me the nature of the adverts it had, most of which were appeals for various heart-rending causes, with variously heart-rending pictures. These ranged from stray cats in Greece to a charity aimed at preventing loneliness among old people at 'Christmas'. I consider myself fairly immune to advertising, or even retail tricks. I know many of the tricks, & for many years haven't routinely watched broadcast TV: when you only watch recorded TV programmes of your own choosing without adverts, it changes the kind of attention you give to advertisements, reducing the passivity that leads to the adverts getting into your subconscious. Rather, you develop a heightened awareness of the disjunction that happens when an advert appears & you become more aware of how the advert is drawing your attention.

Be that as it may, the adverts in The Big Issue pressed buttons in me - to the extent that I have no recollection of what the actual articles were about! It reminded me of the sheer extent to which the world is not the way I would will it to be. Abuse suffered by a stray cat in Greece at the hands of a human is not the cat's fault; the loneliness suffered by an old person may or may not be, since humans have more agency, & frankly if you're an old devil you bring it on yourself. It made me want to *do* something - interestingly not quite the adverts' desired effect since I got no urge to give money to the charities in question.

If this was anyone but me it would make me think that this is such a witch thing, the urge, when seeing something you know not to be right, to do something to rectify it. It's also such a witch thing to be aware of my relative impotence in the face of global injustices. And of course being me I want to get hold of the whole picture & find a longer-term solution. What do I really want for Yule? I want a world where all beings are the right size. I want a world where people who cock it up for themselves don't do so or else are able to find ways to sort that. I want a world where people are unable to take advantage of other people. I want a world where nobody & nothing is used & abused.

Of course I'm aware I'm being idealist - *somebody* once said 'the poor will always be with you - but I'm a witch & see no reason why the size of the problem should deter me. People who say to themselves, 'I'm being impossibly idealist' are the ones who are guaranteed never to attain their ideal. Faced with the hugeness of the problem I'll start chipping. I may influence individuals only but this is how the re-enchantment of the world must happen. I suppose this is what I really want for yule.

Because it must begin here. Recently a friend started something that began with her bringing a grievance against her employer. She had no idea what she was starting, yes she had huge doubt as she went along, but has now completed what she started & brought something much greater to fruition. And of course Nelson Mandela has died this week, & we witches know that the end of one thing always brings on the beginning of another thing. The important thing is that what comes next is Willed.

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On right questioning

The illustration to this post has set me thinking about certainty, doubt, authority & questioning, from a Witch point of view. You see, the phrase 'question everything' makes me uncomfortable since nobody ever actually questions everything, everybody actually always has some certainty, or at least theory on which to build. The sarcastic example here, of course, would be to comment that the person who sprayed that graffito obviously didn't question his or her right to deface a public place with an inane comment!

'Question', in this context, I suppose is therefore a criticism of some kind of authority. The implication is 'Don't believe everything you're told', which is different from not believing anything. At its extreme it leads to an excessive dualism where nothing is real - dangerous when taken to where Christian Science takes it, although they merely deny the reality of the 'physical' & accept the reality of the 'spiritual'.

From a Witch point of view we have an embarrassing relationship with evidence for our position, namely that there isn't any. We also end up red-faced in the search for authority for our position: attempts to find an authority - usually founded on an invented or mistaken history - leave us without an authority. My personal opinion is that since Witchcraft as a modern religion has always been created in conscious opposition to virtually everything conventional religion stands for, we might as well continue this & take the position that we do not need an authority for our Witchcraft.

This also draws nicely on another element of the Witch figure, that of the outsider onto whom people project everything that they don't want, making us these anti-authority figures. I mean, these same people are quick enough to turn to us as an authority when they need some magic!

It is, of course, essential to examine our own presuppositions & the basis on which we pin our certainties. This is in a great magical tradition of the necessity of knowing yourself, since it's the magicians who have some unacknowledged interior stuff going on that tend to come unstuck. I do love the story of the chaos magician who did a paradigm shift to that of a fundamentalist Christian & has been one ever since.

Which brings me nicely to the question of 'everything' - it is actually humanly impossible to doubt everything at once, since you really would go off your head. Perhaps a better word would be 'examine', & this is another activity that can bring magical people into trouble, if they neglect it when necessary. My anecdote for that is the famous one of Tanya Luhrmann, who was completely upfront that she was seeking admission to Gerald Gardner's original coven for the purpose of research. She comments in her book on the perceptive shift she found happening in herself, by which she became less questioning & more inclined to interpret things as caused by magical agency.

I personally don't have a problem with this idea, since in magic the principle of 'It is so because I say it is so' is so often the turning point to the free exercise of the Will which causes real change to occur. I'm sure she would hate this idea, but she actually cast her spell on the coven. I have limited sympathy for the coven's feeling of betrayal when she published the inner workings of the coven: she was upfront about what she was doing, but she describes them forgetting this. Their failure to examine what was happening caused the 'betrayal': they should either have refused her admission or come to some other relationship of limited exposure with her.

In true Witch fashion I have come full circle back to where I was at the start, the nature of questioning, the need to do it, & what everything can mean. Also in true Witch fashion I don't feel inhibited from tackling these truly monumental questions in a single blog post!

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The Meaning of Witchcraft

I am shamelessly hijacking the title of Old Gerald's second non-fiction book on the subject for the title of this post, because it best suits what I have to say. The modern witchcraft moevement is an extraordinary phenomenon, & I think there is great significance in its arising when it did. This post at least partly consists of the thoughts I'm continuing to have about my previous post concerning the United Nations & the Catholic church.

The *only* evidence for a religious movement drawing on the witch figure before the twentieth century is Leland's Aradia. This sentence is almost a direct quote from Hutton, I'm writing this out & about but if you want me to, email me & I will find the actual reference in my notes. My opinion is that without the sort of movements which preceded it, as also laid out by Hutton, & particularly the occult explosion at the end of the nineteenth century, it could not have happened.

And what makes it extraordinary is that our way of life should be a load of quackery & romantic nonsense. It is inconceivable that people on opposite sides of the world can have the same experience without meeting, but it happens. It is inconceivable that we can influence events magically, but it happens.

I feel there is a sea change going on, that has been happening for some decades & we are part of it. In many ways the old order is being confronted by modern powers (ie RC church/UN for example). The old order is struggling for survival.

We, on the other hand are a movement which as a movement is a completely new (ie twentieth century) thing, yet is built almost completely of older ingredients. Our tendency to idealise a fictional past is part of this: we are taking stuff from the past & magically changing it into a new thing. It is not for nothing that Dion Fortune's adage of 'all gods are one god, all goddesses are one goddess, & there is one initiator' is so popular among us. We witness to human ability to make all things one.

This is of course open to criticism as cultural imperialism, but this is really what I'm trying to say. I have a sneaking suspicion that the cultures of the past are actually melding together, so that what may seem imperialism may actually be people coming together as one.

The insight that you are me & I am you is both magical & a genuinely ancient insight of 'spiritual' people.

Even the old divisions of mind/body/spirit are coming down. The internet is partly responsible for the spell cast over the world.

Crowley defined black magicians as those who would resist the natural process of change, which is life itself, & I think to resist this process may be the most futile exercise there is. It is merely to invite death, & transformation into another entity who will be able to change.

When people say that witches go with natural cycles this is exactly what they mean. I personally am not willing this, I am describing the tides of time that I can sense going on in me & around me. The challenge for us as humans is to go with this. The challenge for us as witches is to enable this to happen. The point of witches is to witness to, & move this process on.

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What I'm here for, the United Nations, the Catholic Church, & it's all too much

That title may actually seem rather ambitious for a single blog post, but I have actually only today identified the theme that runs through my magical workings: it is that of bringing things to an end. That is obviously my 'thing' magically in this incarnation.

Another thing going on which really needs to be brought to an end is the Catholic Church's ridiculous attitude to child abuse & its own responsibility. This week it has been in the news that the United Nations' child protection arm has asked the Vatican to disclose all records of child sexual abuse between 1995, & January 2014, when it is conducting a hearing into whether the Catholic Church is actually doing enoiugh to protect children (Source: http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23251503).

Most news sources have based their headlines on the fact that the Vatican 'may' be able to refuse this request, even though the Convention on the Child is legally binding. But to me that is not what makes this extraordinary. Let's consider for a moment just what the United Nations is:

'The United Nations is an international organization founded in 1945 after the Second World War by 51 countries committed to maintaining international peace and security, developing friendly relations among nations and promoting social progress, better living standards and human rights.

'The UN has 4 main purposes

'To keep peace throughout the world;

To develop friendly relations among nations;

'To help nations work together to improve the lives of poor people, to conquer hunger, disease and illiteracy, and to encourage respect for each other�s rights and freedoms;

'To be a centre for harmonizing the actions of nations to achieve these goals.

Due to its unique international character, and the powers vested in its founding Charter, the Organization can take action on a wide range of issues, and provide a forum for its 193 Member States to express their views, through the General Assembly, the Security Council, the Economic and Social Council and other bodies and committees.

'The work of the United Nations reaches every corner of the globe. Although best known for peacekeeping, peacebuilding, conflict prevention and humanitarian assistance, there are many other ways the United Nations and its System (specialized agencies, funds and programmes) affect our lives and make the world a better place. The Organization works on a broad range of fundamental issues, from sustainable development, environment and refugees protection, disaster relief, counter terrorism, disarmament and non-proliferation, to promoting democracy, human rights, gender equality and the advancement of women, governance, economic and social development and international health, clearing landmines, expanding food production, and more, in order to achieve its goals and coordinate efforts for a safer world for this and future generations.'

Source: http://www.un.org/en/aboutun/index.shtml

This to me is what makes it extraordinary that the United Nations is examining the Catholic Church's total failure to protect children, which to my mind amounts to an act of commission. There are no doubt excellent human beings within the Catholic Church who do what their Lord & Master commanded them to, but the Catholic Church should be ashamed that it is not itself fulfilling the purposes of the United Nations. It should be ashamed that a secular body is examining its multiple failures, rather than it policing itself.

At last a body with clout is going to examine what the Catholic Church is doing now: it's suspicious when a body with a terrible record of failings claims it's all in the past. Now you're going to be surprised at what I'm hoping will happen: I hope the Catholic church does refuse to open up its records to the UN. My reason for this is that my opinion is that the church has to come to an end. The way for this to happen is twofold: the Catholic hierarchy has to continue as it always has. If the hierarchy gets robust about the things that matter to normal, rational, thinking people, the institution will continue with the illusion that it can safeguard anybody or anything. The sort of wide-ranging institutional failings & corruption that have hit the headlines (and, dear readers, there will be more, I know of at least one that hasn't hit the news, but don't worry, it will) can only be definitively ended by the institution changing. This one has not. Child abuse has always been a mortal sin. The church's teachings have not greatly changed: they're still focussed on the wrong things. This is a breeding ground for continuing scandals, so the mere continuance of the institution guarantees it will end.

Because the point is the Catholic church shouldn't need to be looked over the by UN if it was what it claims to be. This is the point at which some devout Catholic will tell me we're all sinners, or that the church is for sinners. When a body is a paedophile magnet which then institutionally covers it up & systematically refuses to co-operate with lawful child protection efforts over decades, that isn't a church, it's a cess pit.

Where this leaves the ordinary Catholic in the pew is up to them. I'm a witch. If your will is to believe & practice the Catholic faith, at least as it's presented in the literature, I'm in no way against that. But there are things you can do, which would not necessarily lead you to such a confrontation you get excommunicated. You can keep mental reservations if need be. You can pray. You can continue to complain to the hierarchy of the church, which will continue to build the evidence which will cause their downfall. Most important of all, you can withhold money. Stop giving to the collection, do not give to any body of the Catholic church. Starving 'em out works on anyone.

Witches & other magical people, I'm sure, although we're quite often ex-Catholics like me, would only wish faithful Catholics well. From our view outside, I feel we would see it as necessary that all things end - even if it is only an approach or a particular set-up - the opposite of the Church's own view that it will remain until the bitter end. I feel those kind of endings are not only beneficial, they are to be brought into life. We have not seen the end of the saga of the Catholic church!

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Embodiment: principles & practice of bare-chestedness

I touched on this subject in an earlier post about wearing black, when I commented on the sexualisation of bare-chestedness in the 1990s, with models such as Marky Mark. I was in two minds about posting about it again, but we're actually having the hottest summer we've had for several years, which has revealed an ironic truth to me: when you wear black literally all the time, what you end up doing in the summer is wearing much less in the way of clothes. Strange irony, as a priest of a dark Goddess, to wear black to mirror her yet end up half-naked as a result. I for one think she is splitting her sides laughing.

The real subject of this post is this: it seems that on one extreme there are men who see no issue at all with baring their chest. On the other extreme are men who simply will or cannot, obviously with a lot of potential for different personal opinions in the middle. In case the relevance of this to witchcraft is not clear it is this: we practise a religion in which we believe we embody divinity, because for us the division between what is divine & what is not, is not so clear as it is in some other religions. This is doubtless partly the reason why ritual nudity is the sign of ritual priestly power in some Wiccan denominations.

I'm not a great one for nudity myself, although I'm not overly bothered by ritual nudity or naturism for those who like that sort of thing. I can't think how women don't laugh when they see a naked man - although I'm informed they do inwardly - & it seems to me that nudity leaves sensitive parts of the body more vulnerable than they need be. I'm told naturists don't eat fried food, I don't know how true this is, surely even naturists would wear aprons for protective reasons. The issue of whether women should be allowed to go topless is another thorny one: I have had some women tell me that it is uncomfortable for them to be without a bra, which to me would be a perfectly sensible sovereign reason not to do it.

I have read anecdotal evidence online that well within living memory, for a man to be topless wasn't nearly such a big(ger) deal as it is now. My observation suggests that it is a working class thing - obviously only observed here in Britain. Maybe there is a greater tradition of being topless for men as a result of having jobs where you would work topless in the summer, you'd get used to being topless & it would become part of your normal life.

What is genuinely very dangerous is the tradition of letting boys be bare-chested while adults are not: that can create a ticking time-bomb of skin cancer in later life. I have a certain sympathy for free radicals myself, but I would expect a witch audience to be sassy enough to know that hat, dark glasses, & sunscreen are good.

Nor does bare-chestedness need to be sexual, at least in the sense that no shirt is not the same as exposing your genitals. It shows a Victorian prurience & lack of imagination to equate a bare chest with indecent exposure, right up there with shrouding the table legs because they were too suggestive. Of course a chest *can* be a very sexual part of the body, I mean, I personally have a bit of a thing for the back of the neck, but I wouldn't expect them all to be covered up!

Actually this brings me nicely to the second crux of this matter from a witch's point of view: let's be plain that only a very small proportion of men will ever look like Abercrombie & Fitch models. Personally I wouldn't want to, the evidence is conflicting but I can't think it healthy to have that little body fat. Never mind the continual hunger.

The crux is this: some men can't bare their chests because they are so uncomfortable with their own bodies. I have read of men who can't bring themselves to take their top off in front of their wives & girlfriends, they have such cripplingly bad self-image.

That to me is a real problem. It doesn't help that it sounds creepy to say that starting to bare your chest will make you feel good & improve your self esteem, but I think it can. The witchy way of going about this would be to do a little at a time, perhaps casting spells on yourself as you go, until you've attained to the level of bare-chestedness that you are comfortable with.

This is certainly my experience. My mother had obviously read a book called something along the lines of How to Fuck Them up for Life, because she has always tried to be over-intimate with me. All mothers make embarrassing comments, but touching, especially when your son specifically tells you not to, is another thing. As a child this, combined with not being sporty & continually placed in milieux that would encourage me not to be sporty, created a shyness that it took me ages to get over.

Mothers, keep off your son's backs, I mean this in all respect. You will merely push a son away by suffocating him, & give him further problems. There should be no...I can't think of a word to describe what I mean, so I'll make up the word para-sexual, since that is exactly what I mean, overtones to a parent-child relationship.

I'm not personally shy now. This has been one of the benefits of cutting the ties of my toxic family over the past decade. I'm in a position where I can have people who matter to me see me bare-chested without curling up in embarrassment. In hot weather you will very rarely find me wearing a shirt around the house. This is for comfort reasons, nothing else. Similarly I will be bare-chested when out & about for comfort, when socially acceptable. If I think it's not OK I'll either ask or just not take it off. After all, as witches cultivating divine embodiment this means respecting other people's bodies, especially where we end & they begin!

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Anger and the Witch

I was talking to another witch the other evening & commented that he'd stopped posting on his blog. This was because the things he wanted to post about made him so angry that he felt, for various reasons including that his blog actually identifies him as a figure in public life, that anything he posted would not be acceptable. This conversation set me to thinking about anger, since I don't know a witch who doesn't have 'issues' with anger, frequently some unresolved matter that makes them angry, or there are subjects that will press buttons in them & make them angry.

Despite the much-vaunted embodiment of witchcraft, I'm going to avoid an account of the physiology of anger, for the purposes of this post it is enough to say that anger is the emotional component of the fight-or-flight, or fight-flight-or-freeze, reaction we have in response to a perceived threat.

It seems to me it is one of the less socially-acceptable emotions as well, which raises the question for me of whether people who are angry find their way into witchcraft or whether the kind of people who are witches are also in touch with their emotions, including anger. I would argue that it's actually both, & indeed that anger is actually an essential 'tool' of witchcraft. I would also argue that those who have been taught from childhood not to display strong emotion are a) lying and b) unlikely to make good witches.

Of course it's the displaying of anger that is the socially unacceptable bit. As witches it behoves us to consider the use of all inner & outer technologies as embodiments of the divine multiplicity, so let us not scorn the use of anger management. Many of these techniques aim to quieten the physiological arousal, perhaps the most 'witchy' would be meditative grounding & centering techniques.

It seems that there is much evidence that empathy for the other is most helpful in a conflict, while also being the most difficult. As witches we can stop & allow the divination method of our choice to show us what else is going on in the situation than we think. Methods of conflict resolution should also not be scorned: my personal opinion here is that if we are in touch with our emotions we face another danger of being annoyed by people who think that conflict will go away if they avoid it, rather than resolving it be facing it head on. Sometimes, arrogant bastard that I am, I just like to let a situation ride until it comes up again, knowing that I'll be proved right in the long run!

As magical people, of course, anger has a use. In psychotherapy the word 'transference' is used for the 'stuff' that passes into the therapist from the client. You can't see it, but my G*ddess, it's powerful. As the power behind spells it gives them an oomph otherwise unobtainable.

But of course that requires anger management to direct it into the right place. I don't ground toxic dynamics or emotions, I personally have a toxic waste dump, a stone a friend gave me which is now heavy with sh*t, ready for it to be used to power a spell when I need it. Trying to neutralise it wastes it.

Finally an aspect of anger useful to the witch is that it gives one tunnel vision. Powering a spell with managed & directed anger will help you to do that all-importance focus on the matter in hand.

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Blue plaques, ranters & mythical personages

The news of a blue plaque being erected on the building inhabited by Doreen Valiente in Brighton has made the mainstream media the past couple of weeks as well as the magical media. Naturally my non-integrationist approach causes me to treat this with caution. I hope that as the skilled witch she was she would have rejected the appelation of 'white witch' which the media have used to soften the witch thing. In fact she is one of the few people I wholeheartedly admire as witches: my favourite quote from her is where she says in The Rebirth of Witchcraft that she is a pagan & the only time she would feel the need to forgive another person would be if she had her foot on his throat. She had the temerity, after Gardner initiated her, to call him out on his wholesale appropriation of Crowley texts in his ritual, leading to his suggestion that if she thought she could do better she should try. After her working relationship with Gardner ended she moved on to work with Robert Cochrane, also being the only one in the coven with the temerity to confront him.

My one reservation about her work is that she comes across in her writings as so wanting to believe in the Old Religion that she let's that belief colour her reading of the evidence. She of course walked out of her convent school (do you detect a pattern developing here?) So was never educated to degree level.

Nonetheless you don't have to have that to be a witch, & I rate her. Note that this is *very* high praise coming from me. I wonder how she would have felt about the plaque, though, since she lived the end of her life quietly in Brighton, & seemed genuinely surprised when she had a speaking engagement, at the standing ovation she got.

Although she may not have been impressed at a blue plaque for her personally, she would probably have been impressed at the marking of a site associated with the Craft.

Personally I prefer us to be more misty creatures. Part of the magic of the witch is that we're a nebulous creature whose very existence can be doubted. I have found a curious parallel with the sect called Ranters, who do actually sound rather like us in some ways:

The Ranters were a sect in the time of the English Commonwealth (1649�1660) who were regarded as heretical by the established Church of that period. Their central idea was pantheistic, that God is essentially in every creature; this led them to deny the authority of the Church, of scripture, of the current ministry and of services, instead calling on men to hearken to Jesus within them. Many Ranters seem to have rejected a belief in immortality and in a personal God, and in many ways they resemble the Brethren of the Free Spirit in the 14th century.[1] The Ranters revived the Brethren of the Free Spirit's beliefs of amoralism and followed the Brethren's ideals which �stressed the desire to surpass the human condition and become godlike.�[2] Further drawing from the Brethren of the Free Spirit, the Ranter embraced antinomianism and believed that Christians are freed by grace from the necessity of obeying Mosaic Law. Because they believed that God was present in all living creatures, the Ranters' adherence to antinomianism allowed them to reject the very notion of obedience, thus making them a great threat to the stability of the government.

Though they were not particularly organized and had no leader, their most infamous member was Laurence Clarkson, or Claxton, who joined the Ranters after encountering them in 1649.[3] Claxton quickly adopted Ranter beliefs "that a believer is free from all traditional restraints, that sin is a product only of the imagination, and that private ownership of property is wrong." Under the influence of the Ranters, Claxton published his 1650 tract called A Single Eye. In the tract, Claxton espoused the dissenting group's ideals. They were one of a number of nonconformist dissenting groups that emerged around this time.

They seem to have been regarded by the government of the time as a genuine threat to social order. Ranters were often associated with nudity, which they may have used as a manner of social protest as well as religious expression as a symbol of abandoning earthly goods. Ranters were accused of antinomianism, fanaticism, and sexual immorality, and put in prison until they recanted.

The Ranters were largely recruited from the common people, and there is plenty of evidence that the movement was widespread throughout England. John Bunyan, author of Pilgrim's Progress, claimed in his autobiography, Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, to have encountered Ranters prior to his Baptist conversion.[4] They came into contact and even rivalry with the early Quakers, who were often falsely accused of direct association with them.[1]George Fox stated that most of the Ranters were converted to Quakerism at the time of the Restoration. (Source: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranter)

An unorganised sect of naked ecstatics, who were a real threat to social order? That'll be precisely the witch figure, then. I knew of their rumoured existence, I didn't know though, that there is also a theory they didn't exist at all, but were merely an invented 'other', a sort of bogeyman on which all ills can be projected:

More recently, the historian J. C. Davis has suggested that the Ranters did not exist at all. According to Davis, the Ranters were a myth created by conservatives in order to endorse traditional values by comparison with an unimaginably radical other.[6] Though other historians have expressed doubts, Davis has been at least partially persuasive: Richard L. Greaves, in a review of Davis's book, suggests that though a very radical fringe existed, it was probably never as organized as conservatives of the time suggested.[7](Source: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranter)

That's how I like my witch figures: doubtful of proof of their existence. It is merely good magical practice to bury your action so that it can work, just as Gardner buried the sources of his rituals. The focus for the witch has to be their witch craft, not on the witch herself.

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Age & the witch

I recently came across this piece written by Jonathan Swift, which he wrote at the age of 32:

When I come to be old. 1699.
Not to marry a young Woman.
Not to keep young Company unless they reely desire it.
Not to be peevish or morose, or suspicious.
Not to scorn present Ways, or Wits, or Fashions, or Men, or War, &c.
Not to be fond of Children, or let them come near me hardly.
Not to tell the same story over and over to the same People.
Not to be covetous.
Not to neglect decency, or cleenlyness, for fear of falling into Nastyness.
Not to be over severe with young People, but give Allowances for their youthfull follyes and weaknesses.
Not to be influenced by, or give ear to knavish tatling servants, or others.
Not to be too free of advise, nor trouble any but those that desire it.
To desire some good Friends to inform me wch of these Resolutions I break, or neglect, and wherein; and reform accordingly.
Not to talk much, nor of my self.
Not to boast of my former beauty, or strength, or favor with Ladyes, &c.
Not to hearken to Flatteryes, nor conceive I can be beloved by a young woman, et eos qui hereditatem captant, odisse ac vitare.
Not to be positive or opiniative.
Not to sett up for observing all these Rules; for fear I should observe none.

One thing is clear: the more maladaptive ways of ageing have not changed in the past 300 years. These things aren't limited to those of great age, of course, but younger people are frequently annoyed by those of great age on the basis that they're miserable, stubborn, bigoted, etc, & attribute this to the fact that they're old. Yes, old people are annoying when they are these things, but young people are annoying when they are shallow, impatient, impulsive & reckless.
Perhaps it is for both extremes of age not to fall into the 'vices' proper to those ages. Nor is it cool (I've checked that word out, & have discovered that it is a 1950s beatnik word & I am therefore safe in using it without dating myself to the slang of my youth) at either extreme of age to attempt to be the other extreme. It is to be expected as a young person to think you have the answers to all life's questions; but young people who aspire to be very mature before they have it in them make a fool of themselves as do the old people who (usually try to) dress & act in the latest fashions of youth.
My personal example of gracious ageing is the lovely Honor Blackman, whom my mother always used to call 'mutton dressed as lamb,' which I don't think a fair description. I feel that her book with a title along the lines of 'How to Look & Feel Half Your Age For the Rest of your Life,' is mistitled, since what she does do very well is to play to her strengths. She has very good teeth, which she shows much more than she did in older photos, dresses well for her own body shape, & keeps fit (I would advise most people to steer clear of the diet she advocates in the book, to me it is clearly a slimming diet & doesn't include nearly enough protein & calcium).
Anyone who does these things: play to your strengths, do something about your weaknesses, act your age & dress timelessly in a style which suits your self & your natural body shape, can't go far wrong at any age! I feel ageing is probably something of concern to witches: the practice of witchcraft conversely both keeps you young & ages you because of the exposure to so much of the world's debris. For witches who've aged well, Lois Bourne & Fred Lamond spring to mind. *Ahem* Janet Farrar & Laurie Cabot spring to mind as examples of not such good ageing - facial tattoos spell rebellion or prison in cultures where they're not routine.
For myself I'm older know than I've ever been in my life & after a few stressful periods life is better than it's ever been. The crucial question here, since witches are very keen on making things how we will them to be, is what I have done to end up where I am now. I think it is this: I am being me & not trying to be anyone or anything else. I know who I am & am unapologetic about it. I notice that Swift's list of resolutions is mainly things not to do, which is not really the witch's way. Knowing it, willing it, & doing it is our way so here is my list:
As I age:
I will act my age & not try to be any other.
I will be myself without accepting the perceived limitations of whatever age I am.
I will seek out whatever company I damn well please, if it's mutually enriching & pleasant.
I will maintain an interest in a sex life, since to lose interest in this is to cut yourself off from a major mystery of life, & source of life & pleasure.
I will seek out partners suitable to my stage of life - my 'type' seems to be getting older as I am, & young men are frankly never any good in bed.
I will not become embittered: it's too late for me to resist stubbornness but at least there's one I can do.
I will continue to do new things, acquire new interests to complement the old ones & actively avoid getting stuck in a rut.
I will not eat at 12 noon or 5pm unless it happens to suit me (weird, I know, but those are the only two times my mother will eat).
I will continue to develop my trust that the universe will forever look after me, give me pleasure & challenge me. This journey will not end until my life does.
I will attempt to maintain my health as best I can & will not accept diminishments of ability or potential without a fight.
I will start smoking again at the age of 80, or if I go blind or get a terminal illness. My addiction is alive & strong & I don't want to die without once more embracing Our Lady Nicotine. Starting again in old age would hopefully mean I cheat her of the long-term effects of smoking, if I don't start because of having a terminal disease.
I will continue to seek as my highest goal, going through life without fear, including the fear of death. I am a priest of a death Goddess & accept that she will take my life when it suits her. I may have warning or not. If my life becomes too much for me to bear, through pain or disease, I may renege of this though.
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