Do you see the cobbles on the streets? Everywhere you look, stone & rock. Can you imagine what it feels like to reach down with your bones & feel the living stones? The city is built on itself, all the cities that came before. Can you imagine how it feels to lie down on an ancient flagstone & feel the power of the rock buoying you up against the tug of the world? And that's where witchcraft begins. The stones have life, & I'm part of it. - adapted from Terry Pratchett
Goddess the western world is in a state isn't it. Therefore an uncharacteristically nice post about witchy self soothing.
I'm a great one for white noise. It's actually astounding what it can do for you up to and including fixing tinnitus and helping sleep.
But it's strange to listen to and it doesn't conjure up any emotions or happy places. For that I prefer the ambient sound - there's loads and loads on YouTube - that also brings up the association of an experience or place. For example I like being on a train, so if I want to go somewhere nice I quite often put on the sound of a train journey and go off into fantasy land. It sounds more like the lower-frequency brown noise.
I mentioned having a happy place and of course this is a technique used in mental health therapy. In a slightly different form this technique is also used in many traditions of witchcraft. Here it is often used to make a virtual temple where you can go to in your head. Mine is an altar in a forest clearing. In the virtual temple you also of course have access to virtual magic that you don't have on the earth plane.
I was introduced to this by the very first book I read on witchcraft which was by Laurie Cabot. Her tradition has a technique called counting down to alpha, and she encourages a visualisation aid to help with this. I'm not good at getting down to alpha waves but I discovered that I'm damn good at visualisations that attain their own reality. So I did practice counting down to alpha with a visualisation of a spiral staircase. So a simple technique for this is simply to picture a happy place or refuge in your head. Let it become real, wander round it and experience what is there with your senses.
Years ago I seriously considering applying to be a lighthouse keeper (when there were such things) and in fact lighthouses appear a lot in my visualisation of safety and refuge. I don't agree with the standard dream interpretation of the lighthouse that it's about being a beacon of hope to others, in my case my lighthouse thing is purely because I'm antisocial! My lighthouse thing will go away for a while and then grabs me again and I'll start watching films about them and stuff. And a dream lighthouse makes a perfect refuge.
I have been very conscious as I've been writing this post how Freudian the imagery all is - trains, spiral staircases and lighthouses - and am making a point of saying it before anyone says it!
Another glorious opportunity to sow conflict and ruin lives! Once again this one is a Coleen Nolan.
Dear Coleen
The other day I found a packet of condoms in my son’s sports bag, so I know he’s having sex.
He’s 17 and has been dating the daughter of some friends of ours, although he won’t say much about the relationship.
If I’ve ever tried to talk about sex in the past he’s literally curled up into a ball and covered his ears!
He hates me discussing anything like that and just says he’s not an idiot and knows what he’s doing.
I feel I need to talk to him, though, especially as this girl is only 16 and her parents are very protective over her.
She’s an only child and they have big plans for her.
They know our kids have been seeing each other, but maybe they assume it’s more as friends than lovers, as they’ve known each other since they were five and have grown up together.
It’s an awkward situation all round and I’d hate my son to be irresponsible or do anything to upset this girl, as we’d never hear the end of it. Am I panicking over nothing and how do I broach the subject with my son?
Coleen says:
OK, I think you are panicking a bit and also not really giving him credit for having the condoms and obviously practising safe sex with his girlfriend.
No kid likes to talk about sex with their parents, or be sat down and given a lecture about what they can do.
The way I’ve always approached it is to let my kids know that nothing is off limits when it comes to confiding in me and asking for advice.
And if I have wanted to say something important about sex, then I haven’t made it a big scary talk. I’ve dropped it into conversation during a quiet moment.
The thing is to normalise it and don’t make it a subject that’s taboo or awkward.
Maybe the way to start is to say you found the condoms when you were doing his washing and are glad he’s practising safe sex, then tell him you’re always willing to listen if he has any questions, worries or concerns when it comes to sex and relationships.
Also, I think you need to ask yourself why you’re so worried about her parents.
Maybe this is more to do with your friendship with them and underlying tensions.
As far as I can see, your son is being responsible, and at 17, you have to expect sex to be on the agenda for many young people.
The Hound says:
I'm a bit conflicted over this one. My first instinct was to say that the reason the son won't talk to his mother about sex and relationships is because she is the sort of intrusive, nosy mother who goes through her son's bag and finds his johnnies. If it wasn't 2022 and he's got Pornhub on his phone she'd have been under his bed looking for his jazz mags.
I might be being a bit harsh, although on the other hand... The son and the girlfriend are both above the age of consent and I'm not hearing any reason this relationship should automatically be out of the question. You didn't seriously think he would talk to you when he started having sex did you? My first was a school friend and my mother thought he was a good influence on me. She was even happy to leave us alone in the house (she was a worrier) and we'd leave it ten minutes before being at it like rabbits. She had no idea this was going on and was shocked and outraged years later when I told her!
I try to give witchy answers here and I want to loud pedal autonomy here. His autonomy. I thought you were being intrusive going through his bag but you may have just never stopped doing it for years. Now is the time for him either to wash his own sports kit or put it for washing. Your eyes don't need to be in his private space because he's 17. Incidentally if all he's doing to worry you is shagging his girlfriend you haven't done a bad job.
Not gonna lie, the parents with big plans for their daughter worry me far more. The absolute worst she can get from your son (a disease, an unwanted pregnancy and life experience) can all be dealt with but controlling parents can't.
You also don't mention a dad involved here and I sense you've had a hard time parenting as a lone parent. He will thank you for both giving him some space while offering support if needed because it means you respecting what he wants and treating him as the young adult he is. Are there any family friends he has a good relationship with and would be more likely to open up to? Otherwise Coleen's advice is spot on.
Finally I'm going to let you in on a secret that men don't like telling women - a lot of men carry condoms because they give them a feeling that they could have sex. Some are even sensible and renew them when they go out of date. And even more sensible, they might practice putting them on before they have to do it in front of someone else.
So I think the bottom line here is: mum is worried, probably influenced by lone parenting, however the son is the age where he gets to make his own decisions, so mum must step back.
In an act of absolutely shameless theft from the Christians (because why would a witch feel the need to keep Lent?), every year I take a book for Lent reading and unless I really don't get on with it try to read it all the way through. Probably now that my health has forced me to stay home the practice has less purpose because I now have the time to have a book to chew over on a daily basis.
This year's is Marcus Katz's Secrets of the Thoth Tarot. I actually have the three volumes which you need to go through the whole deck although I doubt I will finish all three in Lent.
It may seem strange to be reading about the Thoth tarot when you can tell from previous posts that I have been immersing myself for several years in the Golden Dawn tradition of tarot, which is sometimes seen as the opposite. It isn't really - Crowley met the tarot when he was a member of the order, much of the hatred for him was driven by him publishing the order's secret teachings, and he is definitely out of the Golden Dawn stable. I think at this stage I should be able to negotiate the changes he made in the deck -fingers crossed.
I'm not actually running out of Golden Dawn materials about the deck but I've reached the point where I'm feeling a bit full of it so it's time to change tack. Katz explains things so well - I also have Lon Milo Duquettes book about the Thoth tarot but I am afraid that while I love Duquette in person I have never got on so well with him on paper.
This is the exact opposite to the experience I had of reading through the blog of a well known writer of Dr Who books and falling head over heels in love with him. Then I saw him speak and didn't fancy him at all - I was in love on paper but not in person!
But I digress. I'm not done with the Golden Dawn tradition of tarot at all, because my studies have made some changes in me but I'm nowhere near proficient. Plus the forthcoming Golden Dawn Tarot from Aeon publishers keeps getting deferred which is annoying.
Of course I don't need to tell you that I side with Ukraine.
As always all methods must be used against a cunt like Putin and I am delighted that the hackers group Anonymous are acting. These people are heroes of mine and legends.
If you would care to join in magically here is a simplified binding spell to prevent Putin harming (adapted from here). You don't need all the ingredients.
Take something which can be Putin in your head. The important thing is that it reminds you of him. An Action Man would be good. Or a potato, a bread roll, whatever. Write his name on it or stick his picture on it.
Now if you want to call on any energies or divinities of your choice, do so. If you don't that's also great.
Tie up the Putin object. You can use string, ribbon, duct tape or whatever. As you do so picture him prevented from harming Ukraine in your mind and say,
Hear me, oh spirits
Of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air
Heavenly hosts
Demons of the infernal realms
And spirits of the ancestors
I call upon you
To bind
Vladimir Putin
So that he may fail utterly
That he may do no harm
To any human soul
Nor any tree
Animal
Rock
Stream
or Sea
Bind him so that he shall not break the Ukraine
Usurp their liberty
Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair
And bind, too,
All those who enable his wickedness
And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies
I beseech thee, spirits, bind all of them
As with chains of iron
Bind their malicious tongues
Strike down their towers of vanity
I beseech thee in my name
(Say your full name)
In the name of all who walk
Crawl, swim, or fly
Of all the trees, the forests,
Streams, deserts,
Rivers and seas
In the name of Justice
And Liberty
And Love
And Equality
And Peace
Bind them in chains
Bind their tongues
Bind their works
Bind their wickedness
Keep the object in a dark, hidden place. Get it out now and then and see him prevented again as you say the verse.
Just in case you're thinking this is a bit subtle for me when I cursed our own Prime Minister, well the priority is the imminent danger. I'm nowhere near finished with him yet.
I have often posted about tarot here but I have rarely posted an actual tarot reading. However in this case the subject is just too fascinating and the cards too interesting to keep it to myself.
A court in the state of New York has ruled that Donald, Donald Jr and Ivanka Trump must all appear before the attorney general (sorry if I get the terms wrong, I don't understand how things work in the US) and testify in a civil case about, I believe, finance. This is in addition to the criminal case which is also ongoing. To be frank considering that so many of his businesses have been alleged to have money laundering written all over them it's a bit surprising that the orange freak has managed to get to the age he has without getting arrested - there is even a whole Wikipedia page about legal cases involving Donald Senior.
Of course as soon as I saw this, being totally nosey I wanted to know what was going on in the Trump family's world about this. I don't do predictive readings however there is available a much more predictive reading by the legendary Z Budapest if you want a different take. She did it at one of his impeachments and if you don't want to watch the whole thing I can summarize it for you by telling you she says he's going to prison.
So anyway the first card I pulled was for what Donald is thinking and the Death card just leapt out at me!
Obviously Death can refer to an actual death and my gut feeling would be that there is probably some level on which Trump wishes he were dead. Oh the ignominy of having spent your entire life getting away with grift and it finally catching up with you at the age of 75! In fact I think that is the meaning of this card in this situation. In addition to deaths it means natural endings which happen to everyone without fear or favour and are unavoidable. He's thinking that it's over and his life has caught up with him.
Of course I'm not a lawyer and no doubt his lawyers will continue his usual tactics of spinning things out as long as possible. That said his accountant has abandoned him and given that one of the things which led to this is that he directly contradicted in a statement what was said in a statement by his legal team, he must be a total nightmare to represent or advise. He must be paying his legal team huge amounts - that's if he is paying them lol. Anyway the witch's advice (for reasons which will become apparent further down the reading) is just open up your history for a full audit and take the consequences. Being overweight and living on junk food he realistically has ten years of life left but his legacy will certainly carry on to his children.
Which brings me nicely to Donald Jr. He had two cards pop out for his thoughts, although his thoughts were rather confused to say the least.
The 4 of Wands is called The Lord of Perfected Work by the Golden Dawn. That said it is in the fiery wands suit so is much more about the will behind the work rather than the actual work. In this case the natural inference would be that he is thinking about the wealthy show off life which the family have built up over decades. That's what it's all about in his thoughts. The Tower means that he thinks this life they have willed into being could well be ended. The Tower means a quite different ending from the ending of Death, where things have run their natural course. It's exactly the ending depicted in the card - sudden, catastrophic, and painful.
Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.
Ivanka had the most bizarre card for what she's thinking. The six of wands is in the same area of fiery will and means definite accomplishment. The Golden Dawn called it the Lord of Victory and Pam's depiction very clearly shows a victory parade. It is tied to the Beauty sephirah of the Qabalistic Tree of Life and I'm going to put a punt on here that she thinks her beauty will prevent anything happening to her, probably by daddy protecting her. By this stage I feel physically sick because the only sensible thing to do if your dad publicly says he would be with you if you weren't his daughter, is take out a restraining order.
I'm honestly surprised that Donald is the most insightful here, but then I suppose the kids have been brought up with the idea that they could just get away with anything.
To be frank surely nobody will be surprised if they turn on each other or throw one of them under the bus (probably Don Jr) - certainly Mary L Trump, who is in a position to know, describes his children's relationship with Donald as entirely transactional and conditional.
Oh alright, I couldn't help myself. I just had to look at what the legal team think about this and to my delight The Fool leapt out!
This is one of the tarot cards which in my opinion has its main meaning slightly misrepresented all the time. There is a lot of emphasis on the innocence or holy fool aspects but little emphasis on the Qabalistic meaning that the Fool is the thing before anything happens. He's like the thought you have before you speak, or possibly the intake of breath at the most. To put it bluntly, the legal team don't have a sensible defense prepared. There is no sensible defense. To put it another way they are walking towards the precipice and the Trumps are refusing even to plan, listen to advice and their legal people don't even think they've got a leg to stand on.
What I find totally bizarre (but then I wouldn't dream of creating a business empire built largely on other people's money and creative accounting) is that this obviously can't carry on forever. Unless you escape to a banana republic sooner or later the powers that be expect to see your books. Who knows, it may not happen in Donald's lifetime but you would think as a father you wouldn't want that hanging over your kids. Wouldn't you?
Hope you've all got lots of popcorn in because it's going to be televised.
All acts are magical acts, said Uncle Al, and so hot on the heels of dishwasher magic, magic with reviews, another apparently mundane magical tool.
Actually it makes sense that reviews would cross over into magical territory because they are incredibly powerful. Estimates of consumers who pay attention to online reviews are consistently over 80% and that is why firms are so eager to manipulate them. Not looking at a certain review site about holidays in the slightest, nor rumours that Amazon employees get bribes to fiddle reviews, but obviously you can't always be confident but this post is inspired by the most extraordinary experience I had of the power of a review. I will put some detail because I think it helps to show what my review was up against.
Long term readers will know that I walked out of my shitty employers in 2016. They are one of the two large mental health providers in this city (actually they're both shit in different ways but the other one is merely incompetent and doesn't have the culture of abuse of the one I walked out of) and has a very good reputation amongst the people who work for it. This was difficult to reconcile with my almost consistently bad experience of important governance things being neglected, of bullying, and non existent leadership. It seemed reasonable that if I was that dissatisfied with it other people must be.
And yet, I went on an employment website and the reviews by employees were consistently excellent, even glowing. It couldn't be that in a freak set of circumstances I had managed to experience all the crap in the organization and everyone else had had an excellent experience! I had actually sat in training courses and seen people in tears because they felt so unsafe and were so frightened of their manager!
And then it struck me. It was one of the dysfunctional cultural aspects of the workplace. They have a culture that we can do it and we will deal with it; we know what we are doing and do a good job (usually this is phrased in opposition to the other mental health provider). It struck me that the organization fed off the can do culture of its employees, gained any success it had from their work while also treating them like shit and filling their minds with the idea that stopping to say things weren't ok was because they were incompetent or couldn't cope. The majority of people doubt their own perception, give other people the benefit of the doubt, and those combined with the workplace culture would be guaranteed to stop negative reviews. Perhaps I should say that the reviews online by service users are far from positive, devastatingly accurate and the service is doing a critical incident review after a series of murders. Even the coroner criticised the service for its traumatizing response to a family after a preventable suicide of a service user.
So I left a review. It wasn't overly dramatic but I pulled no punches and it was fairly crap. I made it very clear that I was talking about a succession of bad experiences and gave clear instances of all the shit I had seen.
I was surprised at what happened next, and I think this is one of the strengths of online reviews because my simple act of leaving that review had clearly changed something for other people, and that is always the clear sign that something magical is going on. I went back to the site six months later and the reviews had changed from being uniformly good to being predominantly terrible (with the odd good one) with my review as the turning point. There clearly were other people who had terrible things to say but hadn't said them.
So what change does this actually make? Well I think you have to change thoughts and attitudes before anything else changes. This change in people's minds will chip away at the culture and help to stop people doubting themselves. A change in culture has knock on effects. For example that trust is very good at drilling people what to say before a Care Quality Commission inspection, and I have frequently seen people saying all the right things and the provider keeps looking good. I wouldn't claim to take the credit for it but on its next inspection after my review the report said a lot of the staff reported that they tried to give good care despite the organization and it dropped down a point into requiring improvement. My spies said the powers that be were visibly furious and I couldn't have been happier.
Of course I'm talking about an organization which doesn't take feedback and I would hope that a good organization would deal with a negative review in a way to turn it positive. I am very taken with the philosophy of dealing with complaints which I have tended to associate with Japanese businesses (although I typically can't find any specific reference to it online at present): that a complaint is an opportunity. I just think you can tell everything about an organization by the way it responds to complaints and I'm talking about an organization where the staff would typically avoid a 'complainer' while making a point of audibly moaning how difficult they were. When an organization won't change its mind because any contradiction is threatening or it doesn't give a shit, your only option is to change it whether they like it or not. I would also theorize that although it may seem like some businesses genuinely don't give a shit, a solid bank of negative reviews will build up the karma in a big way. Even if it only warns people what they're like.
So to sum up, reviews are a powerful magical act, which while they can present some problems because of online reviews being manipulated, have a real potential to make changes happen.
