My Next Prediction

Going out on a limb here but I'm going to predict the next prime minister undemocratically thrust on us by the fucktangle of shitweazles that is the Conservative Party will be Rishi Sunak. Unfortunately I can't predict this with 100% certainty because they're so unstable.

Now I'm also going to surprise you all by saying that he isn't the candidate the Hound would back. Oh, no. Obviously what I want from what will realistically be available at the next election is a bit of Starmer.* But in the situation the Tories are in my favoured candidate would be Boris Johnson. Purely for the reason that that move would make the government collapse. In fact we could even have a new one by Christmas.

But I don't think that will happen, I think he's only on board as a candidate to make the public relieved it isn't him. What? You mean you made the mistake of believing anything a Tory says? Per-lease!

As it happens there is good news in the form of the voting intentions where the Conservatives continue to fall. That's the reason for the pretty map at the top. 

If you're from the USA, don't forget the colours are the other way round here, our Magats are blue and our Democrats are red. The actual party called the Liberal Democrat Party is orange. The light yellow in Scotland is the Scottish National Party. That cluster of small constituencies in the centre near Wales is the West Midlands conurbation.

Now let's count up the blue constituencies. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

That's fucking glorious.

That isn't political oblivion, that's not even needing a whole bench in the house even if all your MPs are there. In fact they might as well sit in a broom cupboard outside.

But that's not the best bit, oh no.

There's a lot of orange, but this means if these intentions continue to the next election the opposition party in Westminster would be...

The Scottish National Party.

Who would have thought the Westminster voting intention would provide me with my next wank?

*Please note that this is not what I actually want, which would be a complete revision of our parliamentary system to include at the absolute least some form of proportional representation. And also the Euro so the brexiteers get a slap every time they pay for something.