Ukraine and Putin

Of course I don't need to tell you that I side with Ukraine.

As always all methods must be used against a cunt like Putin and I am delighted that the hackers group Anonymous are acting. These people are heroes of mine and legends.

If you would care to join in magically here is a simplified binding spell to prevent Putin harming (adapted from here). You don't need all the ingredients.

Take something which can be Putin in your head. The important thing is that it reminds you of him. An Action Man would be good. Or a potato, a bread roll, whatever. Write his name on it or stick his picture on it.

Now if you want to call on any energies or divinities of your choice, do so. If you don't that's also great.

Tie up the Putin object. You can use string, ribbon, duct tape or whatever. As you do so picture him prevented from harming Ukraine in your mind and say, 

Hear me, oh spirits

Of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air

Heavenly hosts

Demons of the infernal realms

And spirits of the ancestors

I call upon you

To bind

Vladimir Putin

So that he may fail utterly

That he may do no harm

To any human soul

Nor any tree

Animal

Rock

Stream

or Sea

Bind him so that he shall not break the Ukraine

Usurp their liberty

Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair

And bind, too,

All those who enable his wickedness

And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies

I beseech thee, spirits, bind all of them

As with chains of iron

Bind their malicious tongues

Strike down their towers of vanity

I beseech thee in my name

(Say your full name)

In the name of all who walk

Crawl, swim, or fly

Of all the trees, the forests,

Streams, deserts,

Rivers and seas

In the name of Justice

And Liberty

And Love

And Equality

And Peace

Bind them in chains

Bind their tongues

Bind their works

Bind their wickedness

Keep the object in a dark, hidden place. Get it out now and then and see him prevented again as you say the verse.

Just in case you're thinking this is a bit subtle for me when I cursed our own Prime Minister, well the priority is the imminent danger. I'm nowhere near finished with him yet.

If you want to help in a non-magical way I recommend the Red Cross and have a very soft spot for the International Rescue Committee.

Oh alright I know you all want a song to sing to enchant the spell. Vladimir, sweetie, I've picked this one just for you.