Another opportunity for me to
AITA for making a joke about my brother's affair at his wedding?
When I was in elementary school, I was the type of kid who got "disrupts class often" on their report card so I never focused much on school. My district had this system where they would pair high schoolers with younger kids to help them with school etc. and my mom made me do that after I kept getting in trouble.
So my tutor was a freshman ("Abby") so she would come to our house after school to help me with my homework or something (I barely remember). My brother "John" was the same age as Abby so they would talk to each other and ended up dating. She stopped tutoring me officially after like a month but since she was at our house a lot I also talked to Abby a lot and we were close as well.
Fast forward 10 years, Abby and John got married and had a kid together. Five years later John tells me that he's getting a divorce because he's met someone new. It sucked because I liked John and Abby together a lot but whatever. Then he tells me he had an affair with his new girlfriend. Also sucks and I told him he shouldn't have hurt Abby like that but whatever. I also asked Abby how she was doing and she wasn't doing well but she told me she didn't want her to be the reason I have a bad relationship with my brother.
However, two months before the wedding, Abby calls me and tells me that my brother's girlfriend has been harassing her nonstop. She showed me the texts and his girlfriend was saying some pretty disturbing things about how she's so much better than Abby, taunting Abby for having to share custody of her kid now, etc. Just making fun of her and bullying her.
I told my brother about this and he said he would "ask his girlfriend about it". A month later I ask him if he ever brought it up and he said he did but saw "nothing wrong" with the texts which pissed me off (i confirmed that he saw the same texts i saw). Abby apologized for involving me in the whole thing in the first place and encouraged me to still go to the wedding, where my brother asked me to make a speech.
The speech went well until I made a joke. The gist of the joke was me turning to his new wife and telling her that if she's learned anything from this she should know that my brother "will never let his wife stop him from finding the love of his life".
This got my brother and his wife really mad, and they kicked me out shortly after, and my brother has been calling/texting me nonstop yelling at me.
tldr; made a joke about brothers affair
AITA?
The Hound says:
Hon, oh yes indeed you're an asshole but you're also a legend and your brother and his new wife are THE assholes and had it coming.
There's just one piece of information you didn't give which would be helpful to an answer - Did your brother often blow up frogs with a straw or otherwise be cruel to animals as a child? Actually, don't bother telling me, we all know he was.
In witchy terms what your brother has done is a thing called invoking Nemesis (not Ma'at, then it would have been balanced less dramatically). He actually had it made and screwed it up. His current wife has some feedback coming from this too.
I don't have an easy answer for why some turds get what is coming to them and some don't, but the world needs more people like you, because you are an agent for of the gods. If your ex-sister in law could be persuaded to go for full custody that would be good.
Hell, if you happen to be gay and Abby is interested, that would make your brother foam at the mouth even more.
Just one thing - once you've done this kind of thing once the universe can see you will do it so these kind of situations where you have to deal with a dickhead will keep coming your way...
I agree, Hound. Maybe it was a bitch move to pull that on the brother, but both Abby's feelings and the OP's feeling have been disregarded in this situation. Maybe the brother shouldn't have been so dumb as to ask the sibling to say a few words in the first place, but he was too busy thinking about himself and his current romance.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent though, I wouldn't go so far as to demand full custody rights. That's a BIG deal. You can't revoke parenting rights just because someone's an asshole, in fact, it's better that the kids learn that through their own experiences, otherwise, they end up hating you. If there is no threat of physical or sexual abuse you've got to bite your tongue. Both of my parents were full of faults, but they made a deal never to bad mouth each other. I know that was really hard for them at times, I came to accept them both as they were, in my own way, and never tried to use them against each other. I understood that whatever my issue was with a parent, don't drag the other into it. I could ask for advice, but don't ask them to badmouth them or fix the problem for me.
Oh quite. I do like to start these posts with a kind of disclaimer that following any advice I give will certainly result in disaster. I'm particularly proud of advising a woman to get pregnant by her boss 🥺😂
DeleteHowever I have a feeling there is abuse going on here, which is yet to come out. He's got that feel of someone who won't hear no and so ignores all boundaries.
Now I'm gutted we'll never know!
What, there was something 'Wrong' with what he did and said at the Wedding? They had it coming, worth getting kicked out for I say... Karmic Justice being meted out. Clearly Abby was the Better Woman... and deserved better... mebbe she should get with the Brother?
ReplyDeleteI'm honestly feeling less sympathy for him every time I think about him and at this point would even support her in anything she does! 😂
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