Guest post: Nanny Ogg on etiquette with witches

I'm delighted to announce that this weekend this blog passed 10,000 page views. Thank you, all of you, I love my audience. The most popular pages remain the ones on Dione, the Circle, reading the tarot aces & Laurence Soper. The one on urinals is racing up behind, though. To celebrate, a 'guest post': Nanny Ogg on etiquette with witches:

'This is really quite straightforward. Witches are very lucky people to know, especially happy witches. When you meet a small dumpy witch, it is good luck to offer her a drink.
'If you happen to be baking & a witch comes calling - & it's amazin'ly occult, the way a witch turns up when you happen to be baking - it's good luck to give her a few scones, a bun or two, or maybe a whole cake to take away.
'If you want a cow who milks well. It's good luck to have some of the milk sent round reg'lar to the local witch. It's *amazin'* how rare it is for that kind of cow to give trouble.
'When brewing, a good beer will keep well if a jug or two is dispatched to the local witch. She will be too polite to refuse.
'Beware of bad luck caused by throwing away old clothes, which may be used by occult forces to put an evil 'fluence on you. Have 'em sent round to the local witch for disposal, especially if there's any decent lace or fine linen with a bit of wear left in it (you wouldn't believe the trouble occult forces can cause with that kind of stuff, it's amazin'.) It's no trouble.
'At Hogswatch, the keepin' qualities of your bacon & ham can be improved no end by sending a moderate portion round to the local witch. She will accept this modest burden.
'Witches are always helpful if approched properly, & never ask for anything in return.
'Incidentally, always remember that a proper witch has a string bag somewhere about her person, so any object you ask her to take away won't be too big.'
Terry Pratchett & Stephen Briggs: Nanny Ogg's Cookbook. Transworld, London, 1999, p. 107.