The blindingly obvious

Oh my G*ddess, how can anyone who isn't actually deaf and blind not notice that I am one of the more obviously homosexual men you could ever meet? I just don't get how some women seem to crack on to gay men in a big way. Now I know you're probably thinking, 'Hound, you're always slobbering over some huge hunk of a straight man,' but that's different, that's fantasy.
A woman at work has been developing a crush over me for some time. I thought she'd got out of it and had realised that I wasn't interested. Then last week I came in to work and she glared at me. I asked one of my colleagues what was biting her, and she said that she had been funny with her all day. So we came to the conclusion that not only did she fancy me, but  she thought I was humping another woman! Then today I came in to work and found I was actually rostered with both of them, and I just thought I can't face a day of someone looking daggers at me because she's not going out with me, and looking daggers at the woman she thinks I am going out with. So in my usual subtle way I made a point of telling her how much I fancied the maintenance man (he is hot, actually), and she had to ask me twice if I was gay and was I being serious.
That's me. Point out the blindingly obvious and just keep spelling it out until people can't avoid it any more.