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Monday, April 25, 2022

You Are Reflected in Your Online Behaviour


Regular readers will not be surprised that I have always had a strong sense of self, am critical and not easily swayed once I have made up my formidably stubborn mind. I am therefore far from convinced that you become the media you consume. That's why I'm not a very hungry caterpillar. I do think online behaviour is more susceptible to influence and reflects your real self more accurately. I think there's also some evidence that people are often more honest online and show more of their real self.

This post is occasioned by me deactivating both my Twitter accounts because it has been bought by Elon Musk, and it's a bit of a housekeeping exercise.

I am probably more careful online to make my behaviour consciously match my values than in person, strangely. I haven't had an Amazon account for several years, just because of its odious practices. There is nothing you can get on Amazon that you can't get elsewhere. I am happier using odd retailers if I can pay with Paypal.

I rather randomly chose Blogger as the platform for this blog and my other one and haven't really had reason to regret it. If Blogger ever did something that made me move it would be to a couple of blogging platforms based in France.

However I haven't really found a social media that I like. I am on Facebook but only for one group and literally use it for nothing else. I don't like how Facebook works and find it quite toxic. I have been rather ambivalent about Twitter - one handle was for tarot meditations as a spin off of this blog and the other was about politics. But I found Twitter also quite toxic with LOADS of very obvious bots.

I do miss being on Yahoo groups ages ago. Now there's a golden age that won't return.

But I think my happiest time online has been on Tumblr before the purge. In case anyone doesn't know Tumblr used to be a fun place full of artists and interesting people (if you know Birmingham, it was like Moseley online) but it's gone through a number of buy outs and successive changes to make it acceptable to advertisers. The one called the purge was to stop adult content being accessible without the protection of login etc. This was obviously on the way because you could access just anything on there. Unfortunately they scared off the sex workers, made the platform unfriendly to use but bizarrely allowed a bunch of Nazis to carry on on there. Absolutely bizarre.

The many users annoyed at the purge left en masse, and managed to make traffic to the site drop so dramatically that it lost a HUGE amount in value. I think something similar is planned for Twitter although I just did it on my own.

Unfortunately Tumblr isn't there to go back to and will obviously not last because it hasn't broken even for years and has become irrational. It's largely populated by people who use it to spite whoever owns it, although obviously they would be my sort of people. I did like when they banned the hashtag #me, though. That was insane.

Despite also not liking Zucker I do have an Instagram and like it. But it doesn't represent my anti plutocracy values so if anyone has any suggestions for viable alternatives I would be grateful to hear them.

And if anyone who's regular wants to follow each other on social media leave your email in a comment which I won't publish.

Thursday, April 21, 2022

Boris Johnson Again

Three months ago I posted a curse on Prime Minister Boris Johnson. While obviously I would have liked him to have shuffled off into the sunset within the month specified by the ancient curse I borrowed, I am afraid that my spell is clearly working but operating in the way my magical signature tends to work. That is that the turd who is the target reacts by doing more of the same. I'm not going to lie about this - part of me hopes the Conservative Party's behaviour gets so bad that we end up not having another Tory government in my lifetime. Certainly seeing Johnson forcibly removed from Downing Street by the army would be a sight worth seeing, but obviously I think they should just go.

Although you didn't think I would just do one spell and leave him to it did you? Worrying things is what Hounds do best!

On a mundane level I am going to be quite frank and say that I support tactical voting to get the Tories out (basically vote for the next most popular party in the constituency). There are problems with our parliamentary system that need to be sorted but I'm damn well sure that ANY of the available options will be better than this government and that is the immediate priority.

I know. It's easy for me, here in sunny Birmingham particularly in Ladywood constituency, it's Labour all the way anyway. But I will reluctantly admit that since Nanny Starmer spanked young Master Johnson's bottom in the the Commons I have recurring fantasies about him bending me over the dispatch box.

Just look at their faces, like naughty school boys.



Thursday, April 14, 2022

Aleph/Beth, Fool/Magician. The Golden Dawn Hebrew Letters for the Trumps

My last post (literally the last, if you click the right pointing arrow at the bottom of the page you'll see it) may have sounded rather negative about my study of the Qabalistic tarot with specific regard to the Order of the Golden Dawn. I mentioned the pathways between the sephiroth and the way they have Hebrew letters attributed to them. This isn't just a label, each Hebrew letter has a significance in itself and they are the building blocks of reality in Kabbalah. I see that I have wrestled with this for some years. In 2014 I wrote this about the letters and positioning of the Fool, and in 2018 I expressed a preference for a different method of attributing Hebrew letters to the pathways, from the Golden Dawn one. I have concluded that there isn't a single, correct way of doing this, but also don't want to get more confused so have shifted to the Golden Dawn attributions for simplicity. Don't mention Crowley, that's a further complication we don't need.

My rough guide to the Hebrew letters and trumps is further down below and I never fail to be impressed by how the meanings of the letters fit with and illuminate the trumps, even with changing between systems.

Previously I preferred to attribute aleph to the Magician because in some older decks the Magician looks like an aleph (such as Oswald Wirth's tarot which I've used because it also has the actual letter, but the shape of his Magician reflects several centuries of aleph-shaped Magicians in the Marseille tarot). However the Golden Dawn attributes Beth to the Magician. Beth means house and in a kabbalistic way the Magician is the house which begins to clothe the potential of the Fool in the clothing of the elements.

Which leaves Aleph, the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet, available for attribution to the Fool. Which is a happy attribution because in the tarot the Fool either doesn't have a number or else is numbered zero. In the game of tarot this is because the fool can be placed literally anywhere, as a wild card. 

In the tarot this fits perfectly because of the kabbalistic tradition that Beth rather than aleph is the first letter. The pious reason is that Beth begins bereshit, the first word of the Hebrew bible, meaning 'In the beginning'. 

Aleph also fits the zero numbered Fool, which occultly means nothing, potential, or that which precedes, in another way. It is not right to compare Aleph to our letter A, it is quite different. A has its own sound, but Aleph doesn't have a sound. In itself, without vowel symbols it is soundless. 

Kindof a potential letter, just like the Fool is a potential card, which incidentally often refers to silence. 

The Hound's Rough Guide to Golden Dawn Hebrew Letter Attributions

The Universe - Tau - Cross - At the centre of the Cube of Space so the key to all because it's where all energies from which manifestation come, cross.

Judgment - Shin - Tooth - Indicate sharpness, hardness and biting, the teeth which chew before ingestion of energy into the system. Can also be taken as killing the perception of the Personality as separate.

The Sun - Resh - Head. Highest path of human intelligence.

The Moon - Qoph - Back of head - the head is the Sun so the back of it is what is before the bright intellectual awareness of the Sun. I only reflects the light of the sun.

The Star - Tsaddi - Fish hook. The hook is the hook of meditation and other exercises which we cast into the universal sea of consciousness seeking to hook an understanding of the very processes of life and death.

The Tower - Peh - Mouth. Peh double letter with tho directions of passage i.e. taking nourishment in and speech.

The Devil - Ayin - Eye. The Devil represents most people's misperception of reality and the eye indicates that the lesson of this path is a new vision and reorganisation of reality.

Temperance - Samekh - Prop. References the womb of the Great Mother which supports (Props up) life.

Death - Nun - Fish. The fish is an alchemical symbol of First Matter and it is on this path we begin to develop the tools of creative imagination necessary to make the transition to the Higher Self.

The Hanged Man - Mem - Water. Water symbolises consciousness and thinking, which underlies everything.

Justice - Lamed - Ox goad. Related to Aleph (Ox/Fool). Maintains the balance of the Tree so that the Outpouring of the Fool will operate within the confines of a natural system.

Wheel of Fortune - Caph - Fist. Closed hand which symbolises grasping comprehension, completion of an activity or the closing of a circle.

The Hermit - Yod - Hand. Open hand - power/innocence, receptivity. Yod basis of all Hebrew letters.

Strength - Teth - Snake. Fundamental, concealed power, the animal energies in the rational human.

The Chariot - Cheth - Fence, Enclosure. The chariot is a wheeled enclosure which holds the Spirit in its movement through all planes. It is also a hedge serving a protecting function.

The Lovers - Zain - Sword. Sword of perception which cuts to the the core of things and defines clearly. The conjunction seems to be a death. It separates to allow a conjunction.

The Hierophant - Vav - Nail. The hierophant links microprosopus with macrosprosopus, the Great Universe and manifestation.

The Emperor - Heh - Window. Window into inner vision and constitutes law (as Constituting Intelligence) in place of darkness.

The Empress - Daleth - Door. The Empress is the universal womb and the door which is the transition from One into Many!

The High Priestess - Gimel - Camel. The path itself carries us over the path of the Abyss.

The Magician - Beth - House. Symbolises that which builds the house, i.e. directs and ecloses the One Spirit symbolized by the Fool.

The Fool - Aleph - Ox. Ox means rooted in earth and the motive power in agriculture and civilisation.

Friday, April 8, 2022

Problems with the Occult Tarot

Regular readers will know that having read tarot for about twenty years, for the past few years my reading about it has focused on the approach of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Currently I have varied this a bit by reading Marcus Katz's book about Aleister Crowley's Thoth tarot.

I may have mentioned a few (or possibly hundreds) of times here that the tarot started off as a game. It wouldn't be true to say that it was never used for fortune telling (there is after all a long tradition of fortune telling by dominos and playing cards) but the tarot subsequently got connected to the Qabalah and that is where my problems begin. They continue with the ongoing efforts to reconcile the tarot with the several magical maps of reality. To be frank probably the only thing I will do in this post is state them and get confused, but hey.

My first problem is that the ten sephiroth on the tree of life, which is a map of everything are the emanations of God. You can see them in the form of the coins in the ten of pentacles. That's the shape of them. They're the really big sources of everything. In between are twenty two paths which represent the Hebrew letters which are the building blocks of everything.

This would be OK except the sephiroth have the minor arcana allocated to them and the pathways have the major arcana allocated to them, which reverses the importance. You read in Crowley about the light from the different sephiroth being seen in various cards and this means you've got the minor arcana illuminating the major.

Even if you've never heard of the tarot that should sound confusing and wrong. And so we come to the second problem.

If you've noticed I've left the court cards out of this that's because only the top sephiroth get a court card attributed to them and not the others. These are the sephiroth above the line in the tree which marks our world from above so in the Qabalistic map of the tarot and everything they are attributed to the bit where nothing has manifested in reality yet so really don't exist in a way we could touch.

Confused? Good. Why should I be the only one?

I'm hoping that I will come back to this post in months and years to come and say it makes sense but I suspect you have to live with the contradiction rather than resolve it. Despite this confusion I'm finding my understanding of the tarot is deepening hugely.

It's not even as if nobody else is dissatisfied with this. Famously the Golden Dawn moved round two of the major arcana from the Marseilles tarot they started with, to make them fit the astrology better. Then Crowley swapped round another two of the major arcana.

So I suppose what I've really learned is to sit with it and probe the questions in a magical system gently. I still hope it will miraculously fall into place and make sense though!

Actually another thing which makes no sense is our Tory scum energy minister, Greg Hands.



Thursday, April 7, 2022

Pro Tips from the Hound for Living with Inflammatory Arthritis

This is not a comprehensive guide, it is just a few things I have learned since being originally diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I have deliberately picked things which I don't think are usually obvious from the literature and people have to learn the hard way, it might help someone for them all to be in one place. I will also put this up as a separate page.

These tips only relate to inflammatory arthritis, not osteoarthritis (the difference is here) although that said some of the other causes for swollen joints are bloody scary. Don't take this as medical advice, get professional help. In the UK, your GP/111/walk in centre/A&E/999 if an emergency. Goddess I can't believe I have to say this because who would take advice from a bloke pretending to be a dog on the internet? These tips are things from my experience intended to help people navigate the experience.

So here we go with the actual tips.

Inflammatory Arthritis is an auto immune disease and they are unpredictable

Literally, don't think you're doctor is hopeless if they can't always tell you what the disease is going to do to you. It's not them, it's because it's impossible to say. I spent 25 years as a mental health nurse working in the branch of medicine which is the most Cinderella one and even there you could surprise people by telling people what was likely to happen because disease process and human responses are well established. Because that's how illnesses go, the diagnosis means it's going to do basically the same thing every time. But not auto immune diseases which like to hide and then surprise you.

Inflammatory Arthritis doesn't always look like what the books say

This is a biggy, once you start reading you keep noticing people saying that they get things happening which must be the arthritis but their specialists don't think they are. For example a woman who sometimes can't lift up her left arm. She gets frustrated because the rheumatologist tells her it's because of her age (it isn't, natural ageing is a progressive irreversible process and would not explain it). Honestly this is so frustrating but again it's because the illness plays tricks and does odd things. My own tattoos keep rising up as if the needle went too deep then going back to normal, but my consultant, while interested, can't connect it to arthritis.

Health professionals find it difficult to understand the experience

I phrased that quite subtly for me didn't I? In people's accounts you notice over and over again people say it's like health professionals don't get it. I can't think why anyone would specialize in rheumatology and it must be heart wrenching. Health professionals want to help and when you have a disease which is refractory but not fatal, they don't have a script. The closest I've got to a solution to this is to keep stating what my priorities would be and then suggest possible ways to get there, but I don't have a solution really. 

Take the medication and tell your provider if there are problems

This one is huge and is the one health professionals will totally get. The medicines used in arthritis are completely freaky and have some horrible side effects. There are ways to change how you take them or move to different ones and your team will be well used to this, so don't hesitate to say. As a mental health nurse I made a point of telling every man on fluoxetine that it might stop him getting a hard on but not to be ashamed to tell his GP.

We all know that living as healthily as possible will help arthritis

But it's easier said than done to get there. Being a healthy weight, gentle exercise, a sensible diet and stopping smoking will all help. The other danger is of over vigorous exercise - the trick to get gentle exercise is to go for things meant for seniors and ask if they'll let you join if you're too young on paper. Sorry about this, but that's the truth.

There is no alternative remedy for inflammatory arthritis

The practitioners of So Called Alternative Medicine (SCAM) are well used to targeting people with emotionally difficult illnesses with poor or doubtful prognoses, such as cancer and arthritis. In addition to homeopathy, chiropractic, acupuncture, Chinese medicine etc, there is a flood of bizarre diets and methods supposedly to treat arthritis. They don't work. I totally get that you're desperate but take the  prescribed tablets and live healthily because they're the best and only chance you've got. Because what the practitioners of SCAM want you to forget is that Methotrexate caused a revolution in health care, can stop cancer in its tracks, and actually preserves your joints. No amount of taking homeopathic remedies will do that. Again, if you are poor and your choice is methotrexate or nothing, there are ways to optimize the dose and side effects.

Do things that help

Despite there being no alternative remedies you may find things which make you feel much better. A lot of people say this about swimming and while I can doggy paddle (ha) my only sorrow here is that I am frightened of swimming pools so that's out for me. My own arthritis is psoriatic and while there is no apparent mechanism for it to work, I have found that like psoriasis, direct sunlight helps my joints like nothing else. I recommend you do not try this: I am aware it is dangerous and will kill me but have made the decision that that it is preferable given my quality of life, even if this would be considered an unwise decision.

Be prepared for arthritis's effects on unexpected areas of your life

Because nobody ever actually says it but feeling like you inhabit a crumbling carcass really has an impact on your sex life. Again, I don't have a magic answer to this one.

Don't keep your arthritis quiet

Make a point of telling employers, insurers, lenders, and pension providers. I don't mean telling everyone as if you're a vegan but be upfront if they ask. It can help since you may count as disabled and due some adjustments. Some of these vampires may have given you a contractual obligation to tell them these things and insurance may not pay out if you don't. Even though people with arthritis are living longer there is still impact on life expectancy of up to ten years (yeah, they don't tell you that one either). Pension providers are gambling on the odds and if they think you are likely to die young it can work to your advantage with these people in getting a better pension.

Ghoulish, I know, but there was no way I wasn't going to find one advantage.

Wednesday, April 6, 2022

INFJ Communication

One of the fascinating things about having the INFJ Myers Briggs personality type is that it's perfectly simple to understand us. We know your shit, will know if you're lying and if we say something will happen it damn well does. Perfectly simple.

The trouble is the rest of the world are busy making it complicated. How I laughed when I read this:

INFJs are quiet, supportive and encouraging people who seek harmony in their relationships. They are sensitive individuals who appreciate and want to bring out the best in other people’s talents and abilities. Source

Now I just know that you will all recognize me there. 

The INFJ walks a fine line between revealing truth and navigating the labyrinth of others’ emotions and ego defenses. They routinely wrestle with the question of whether it’s worth professing truth when it’s likely to fall on deaf ears or incite ego defenses. Unfortunately, they often end up feeling guilty either way, for either failing to reveal the truth or for hurting or offending someone with the truth. Source

Much more to the point and accurately brings out the two minded aspect of being INFJ.

But I don't think that's the real problem with INFJs communicating. It took me forever to realize that I was doing it and when I did, I realized I have been doing this all my life. In fact I've basically already said what the problem is. Because an INFJ works with a vast map of interconnecting facts and is constantly weighing things up, what we say is a very small part of what we are thinking. In my experience genuinely a much smaller part. Because the person we're talking to may not have access to all the thoughts and feelings before we speak they're almost guaranteed not to get our drift.

So that's why I'm always feeling like people aren't listening and they're always saying I don't say what I mean! And to think I pride myself on having good communication skills!

Let me be clear that I'm not simply talking about not quite communicating your meaning. I mean that I tend to say what I mean but don't communicate the parts of the thinking process which led me there and are essential parts of the meaning to anyone else.

I realized this is why people think INFJs say random things or our thoughts are disjointed. In between the things we say we go back into our thinkery/feelery and people don't see what goes on in there. Certainly years of nursing have taught me that when people ask why the hell a doctor's suggested what they have, 9 times out of 10 explaining why will reassure them.

Being the kind person with people skills that I am I of course make an effort to show my working to fill in the meaning. Because saying 'Just shut up and listen because I'm right' tends to offend.

Monday, April 4, 2022

Urban Grimoire: So Done

I am fascinated by the slang phrase where you are so done with something. Obviously it is US English and I'm fascinated that it means you are not simply finished with something or fed up with something but somewhere beyond having finished it or being fed up with it. Some examples (all taken from here):

1. So Done - When you reach a stage where you are completely and utterly done with life. You couldn't be more done if you tried. You are so done with absolutely everything and everyone.

'I am so done, you couldn't be more done than me'

'Siobhan spends her entire life being done.'

2. So Done

When you reach a stage in life where you are completely done with everything and everyone. You couldn't be more done if you tried because its reached a peak point.

'Karmin spends her entire life being 'so done''

3. So Done

Unable to handle any more of the current situation. Typically occurs during work. Employees will often refer to this state using the code "Sod one" if their employers are nearby.

Dude, I'm So Done I can't even handle this anymore. Do you think they would fired me if I just like, left?

4. i'm so done

to be so out of touch with the topic at hand that one calls out this phrase to switch the topic out of any of the following reasons: embarrassment, boredom, fear, or other indiferrence

Carmen: Sends picture of Robert as a princess

Robert: That picture is so non-heteronormative.

Carmen: I'm so Done, I'm so Done!!!

5. i'm so done with you

When you have nothing else to say because the topic made you either embarrassed, angry, or laugh too hard.

Tom: damn gurl you got the booty

Tina: OMG Tom I'm so done with you!

I have omitted the examples dealing with romantic relationships because I'm not dealing with them here, not because I'm so done with men. Although I am. 

I'm hearing this phrase (or ones which mean the same) used increasingly, particularly since 2020, because the Western world is concurrently faced with a pandemic, science denial, conspiracy theories, political corruption and, at this end, a war. Last week I counted six times different people either said in person or online that they just couldn't do with people any more. Oh, how I know. And I had an ambition to be a hikikomori even before the world nose dived.

There is an interesting parallel to this idea in the magical world. In the Charge of the Goddess she says, 'I am what is attained at the end of desire,' echoing the broader magical tradition that if you want it you won't get it. Most magical workings require you to forget what you want because this lets the thought form go and manifest the new reality. If you keep worrying it you keep the thought with you and stop it happening, rather like digging up seeds you have shown to see if they're growing.

This is what is meant by the difference between the magical will and wanting something. Do what thou wilt does not mean do whatever you want, in fact doing what you want gets in the way of the will. This is called lust of desire:

The term "lust of result" first appears in Crowley's writings in the First Chapter of The Book of the Law:

For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect. (AL I:44)

In his Commentaries on the Book of the Law, Crowley typically discusses the concept of "lust of result" along with that of "purpose."

From the Old Comment (1913) on AL I:44:

Recommends "non-attachment". Students will understand how in meditation the mind which attaches itself to hope of success is just as bound as if it were to attach itself to some base material idea. It is a bond and the aim is freedom.

I recommend serious study of the word unassuaged which appears not very intelligible. (Magical and Philosophical Commentaries, p. 135)

From the New Comment (1920) on AL I:44:

This verse is best interpreted by defining 'pure will' as the true expression of the Nature, the proper or inherent motion of the matter, concerned. It is unnatural to aim at any goal. The student is referred to Liber LXV Chap. II, v. 24 [see below], and to the Tao Teh King. This becomes particularly important in high grades. One is not to do Yoga, etc., in order to get Samadhi, like a schoolboy or a shopkeeper; but for its own sake, like an artist.

"Unassuaged" means "its edge taken off by" or "dulled by". The pure student does not think of the result of the examination. (Magical and Philosophical Commentaries, p. 135)

EDITOR'S NOTE: The definition of "unassuaged" in the above commentary is incorrect from the viewpoint of Standard English usage. The definition of "assuage" is "To make (something burdensome or painful) less intense or severe; To satisfy or appease; To pacify or calm." Unassuaged would therefore be the opposite: to make something already burdensome or painful fully (or perhaps more) intense or severe; to deny satisfaction or appeasement, to disturb or agitate. This editor is unsure whether the divergence of the definition as presented in this commentary from that in common usage was intentional or in error. Source

So far I have been predicting how the current crises listed above would end in fairly mundane terms. But what if so many people's true will is safe and just world and they also all are so done or lose the lust of desire all together?

Sunday, April 3, 2022

Agony Hound: AITA for making a joke about my brother's affair at his wedding?


Another opportunity for me to ruin other people's lives help other people with my helpful insight and wise counsel. This one is someone asking Am I The Asshole on Reddit. And sit back and enjoy it because it's a beauty.

AITA for making a joke about my brother's affair at his wedding?

When I was in elementary school, I was the type of kid who got "disrupts class often" on their report card so I never focused much on school. My district had this system where they would pair high schoolers with younger kids to help them with school etc. and my mom made me do that after I kept getting in trouble.

So my tutor was a freshman ("Abby") so she would come to our house after school to help me with my homework or something (I barely remember). My brother "John" was the same age as Abby so they would talk to each other and ended up dating. She stopped tutoring me officially after like a month but since she was at our house a lot I also talked to Abby a lot and we were close as well.

Fast forward 10 years, Abby and John got married and had a kid together. Five years later John tells me that he's getting a divorce because he's met someone new. It sucked because I liked John and Abby together a lot but whatever. Then he tells me he had an affair with his new girlfriend. Also sucks and I told him he shouldn't have hurt Abby like that but whatever. I also asked Abby how she was doing and she wasn't doing well but she told me she didn't want her to be the reason I have a bad relationship with my brother.

However, two months before the wedding, Abby calls me and tells me that my brother's girlfriend has been harassing her nonstop. She showed me the texts and his girlfriend was saying some pretty disturbing things about how she's so much better than Abby, taunting Abby for having to share custody of her kid now, etc. Just making fun of her and bullying her.

I told my brother about this and he said he would "ask his girlfriend about it". A month later I ask him if he ever brought it up and he said he did but saw "nothing wrong" with the texts which pissed me off (i confirmed that he saw the same texts i saw). Abby apologized for involving me in the whole thing in the first place and encouraged me to still go to the wedding, where my brother asked me to make a speech.

The speech went well until I made a joke. The gist of the joke was me turning to his new wife and telling her that if she's learned anything from this she should know that my brother "will never let his wife stop him from finding the love of his life".

This got my brother and his wife really mad, and they kicked me out shortly after, and my brother has been calling/texting me nonstop yelling at me.

tldr; made a joke about brothers affair

AITA?


The Hound says:

Hon, oh yes indeed you're an asshole but you're also a legend and your brother and his new wife are THE assholes and had it coming.

There's just one piece of information you didn't give which would be helpful to an answer - Did your brother often blow up frogs with a straw or otherwise be cruel to animals as a child? Actually, don't bother telling me, we all know he was.

In witchy terms what your brother has done is a thing called invoking Nemesis (not Ma'at, then it would have been balanced less dramatically). He actually had it made and screwed it up. His current wife has some feedback coming from this too.

I don't have an easy answer for why some turds get what is coming to them and some don't, but the world needs more people like you, because you are an agent for of the gods. If your ex-sister in law could be persuaded to go for full custody that would be good.

Hell, if you happen to be gay and Abby is interested, that would make your brother foam at the mouth even more.

Just one thing - once you've done this kind of thing once the universe can see you will do it so these kind of situations where you have to deal with a dickhead will keep coming your way...